First....I completely understand your anger and frustration. Believe me....I know.
Second....you’re right to fight it. Some pointers:
You said this teacher mentioned other students in her email(s) to you and that you know those kids’ parents.....forward the emails to them. Shine a spotlight on this wench; share the load with other parents whose children are being maligned by this lunatic. Send them TODAY and suggest that you all may want to get together with the school principal, as a group, and then possibly the school Superintendent. There is strength in numbers.
Next....your insistence on written communication-only is misguided; just wrong. You DEFINITELY want a face-to-face meeting with this teacher, the principal, and your husband (if necessary, even before you gather in the other parents for such a meeting). It’s easy for someone to lie and dance behind a keyboard; far more difficult in person. Such people tend to be cowards. MAKE her repeat herself in person, in the presence of the principal.
If you’re concerned about capturing what is said, record it. Let everyone in the room know that you are recording the meeting. It’s easy, and it will provide the proof/evidence you seek.
Don’t fight this alone, don’t fight it by email-only, and do NOT let it drop.
Lastly.....don’t let the principal throw some mollifying words at you, replete with hollow assurances, and expect the problem to disappear. It won’t. He will try....they always do....just to make the problem “go away”. Don’t allow that. Demand specific things, with written evidence/proof that these “things” are in fact accomplished.
It’s your right and your duty as a parent no matter what some educrat moron may say.
God bless and good luck.
I can tell you’re upset. Don’t be.
It is very obvious that you must get her out of that school. If it is necessary to resort to written communications, that says volumes about your trust of the school’s authorites. Follow your insincts, withdraw and home school.
Home school. Get out and home school. You and your daughter shouldn’t be enduring this crazy, bureaucratic nightmare.