Sorry for your loss. I know only too well about mourning for a lost baby. Lost my feline companion of 15 years in December of 2009 due to VAS. Still haven’t gotten over it.
Thank you all for your consoling thoughts. The only thing that makes it a little easier is that the post mortem showed that he had Pancreatic Cancer. He’d been sick, off and on, since October; and we’d treated him for all kinds of things. He’d get better, and just when we thought we’d turned the corner; he’d get sick again. He suddenly started losing so much weight that it really became alarming. Considering the results of the post mortem, I’m glad we made the decision when we did.
His passing was peaceful, and he looked better after he was gone. I’d forgotten how dogs (and cats too) can control their fur. His fur just relaxed, and he fell asleep with all the tension and anxiety gone. We’re the ones suffering now.
The vet (who was new to us) made it easier by assuring us that he “could tell that Max was a very good dog”. Of course he didn’t know Max at all, but that made us feel better. I don’t know who will help me in the garden, if I can get out there this year. (I’m scheduled for a knee replacement April 2 which is why I’m not rushing out there to get a new puppy.)