“Pee On A Bum” won’t work because:
1. Takes too long to:
A. make decision to hire bum.
B. get out of car.
C. expose oneself.
2. Delays result in traffic delays and probable ticket for “Obstructing ticket”.
3. When “C” above occurs, the Long Arm & Flat Foot of John Law will arrest Mr. Bum’s customer for “Indecent Exposure.
4. At that point, both bum and customer will be trampled to death by a thundering herd of unemployed lawyers seeking to represent them in court.
Note that John Law will have not a single foot print on his semi-scared person because he provides work for the lawyers.
” A man who never graduated from school might steal from a freight car. But a man who attends college and graduates as a lawyer might steal the whole railroad!”
— President Theodore Roosevelt, attempting to persuade his son to become a lawyer