And now we learn that his son is too...and listening to your phone calls.;-)
And he’s watching you read and post to FR...!
The Lord has the real database, and the big difference between the two?
God’s database has a delete function.
I’m not so sure the advice here is all that great.
Couple things here - is the why? Porn meets a need. Why is the husband not getting his needs met by his wife? Why is he finding it easier and more comfortable to use porn than to go to his wife and ask? Why is she finding it more comfortable to catch him and nag him than to get down to the bottom of it?
I realize that men and women have very different ways of looking at things - but if the wife were to go to the pastor and say, “I want x but I’m not getting enough of X - he’d go back to the man and have that difficult conversation about how he needs to work at fulfilling his wife’s needs!
We wouldn’t be going back and telling the husband to find a ‘support group of folks’ who understand what it’s like to deal with a woman. Would we have much sympathy here?
The first question, and the most important one is this. What need is porn filling?
She needs to demand that he seeks help or she divorces him... let him rot in his addiction... sorry, folks, I’ve had it with tip-toeing around those who won’t come out of sexual sins that destroys the family... God says, if they are christians, to turn them over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh so that the sole might be saved. 1 Corinthians 5:5. The wife and her husband’s brother, the pastor, needs to stand the husband up and read this verse to him, give him a day to repent and seek help or pronounce this spiritual judgement upon him, and divorce him.
Actually, I don’t think that going to a pastor *first* will be of much help. It took years for this problem to develop and it will take a long time to dismantle it. Only then will the pastor be of help, but by then, he *will* be of help.
To start with, he needs a psychological *diagnosis*, because there could be all sorts of underlying reasons for this, including inability to be intimate; obsessive compulsion; compelled perversion; neurotic fixation; you name it, there can be some real spider’s nests in his head. But until you know what kind, getting rid of it is very hit and miss.
In some cases, there might even be an organic problem with his brain, in which this could be a *symptom*, of something much worse, even lethal.
But a “best case” would be that he has been sociopathically conditioned, he’s trained himself, to only get a libido response from porn. I say “best case” because this is the easiest to treat, possibly just with marriage and sex counseling. That is, he trained to get it, and his training can be redirected away from it in a more appropriate direction.
In any event, after punching through these things, hopefully he will be on the mend, and *that* is when he will need a lot of spiritual help and support, and a pastor will really be helpful. By then he should again be in a team with his wife, working together.
Placemark.
As a reminder, God is also watching our online activity and while the enemy can only work on what he sees us do, God looks on the heart.
Use guys are against porn? How special! Are you against murder too? Yes, bad things are wrong!