The old ones are the best:
A woman goes into the pet shop and falls for this talking parrot.
“I should warn you,” the shop keeper tells her, “He was brought up in a house of ill-repute and can be rather cheeky at times.”
Undetered, the woman buys the parrot and takes it home with her.
On getting home, the parrot looks around at his new surroundings and exclaims, “New house, new Madam, Right!” The woman is slightly taken aback but sees the funny side.
A little while later her two teenages daugthers arrive home from school. “New girls!” sqwaks the parrot. The mother explains about the parrot and they all have a giggle.
Just then, the woman’s husband comes in from work. “Nice to see you, Frank!” says the parrot. Frank blushes.
She asks,"polly want a cracker?"
Parrot says "#$%^(* you B(*&^%"
Woman puts the parrot in the freezer to cool it's jets somewhat.
After a while takes out the shivering parrot, and asks the parrot, "Polly want a cracker?"
Parrot shakes his head no.
Woman asks the parrot to say something.
Parrot looks at her and says,"I am saying nothing until you tell me what that turkey in the freezer said to you."