Order some from Walmart.com? You can probably buy a whole case.
Do you by any chance have some pickles, or even pickled green beans? Even canned green beans could be minced and combined with the appropriate seasonings to make a sweet pickled bean relish to use as a substitue.
Stay safe, and stay indoors.
After my frantic look for pickle relish and finally coming up with a small bottle, I've come up with Plan B. When relish is gone, will cut up bread and butter sweet “Stackers”, as they are thinly sliced and very sweet to make sweet pickle relish. The liquid they are in is really sweet so a bit of that in with the stackers cut up, will make a passable relish.
Or, if you don't have H1N1, you could drive from Missouri to here and hand me a bottle of relish at my front door - or not.
What really got me was looking at the stacks of canned chicken and tuna and no bottles of relish. And, all of you on the gardening thread can sweet pickles all the time. I have to think about how to make cucumbers grow without insects getting them. I'll mention this on today's gardening thread when it opens and maybe you already have it open.
I'm slowing getting away from most canned veggies except corn...they all taste like crap with little nutrition...
another thing good for barter, if sadly we find ourselves in that situation, is wax paper, plastic wrap, matches, and aluminum "tin" foil....that stuff last forever....