“Honestly, I haven’t eaten today/the ~other~ dogs chewed your shoes/I have no idea how that dead possum got into the living room”
:)
[it’s true...on the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog...because you’re a “pit” and you LIED about it]
I didn’t eat the meatloaf, that was the cat. Yeah, the cat, that’s the ticket. Oh, and he charged all those “Dogs Gone Wild” videos to your credit card to incriminate me, yeah...