Go to your local beer store, grocery store, liquor store — wherever Guinness, Harp, Smithtwicks, Heineken, Sam Adams, etc. is sold. Load up your shopping cart to the brim with these products. Get in line to pay and just as the cashier is ringing up the order, announce that someone just texted you not to buy Guinness and related products because Guinness is boycotting the St. Patrick’s day Parade. And then walk out. Go to the store's customer service counter, and ask them if they could check out back to see if they have of the new Sam Adams limited edition 'Lavender Lager' left in stock, as you couldn't find any in the cooler. Bonus points if you can get the person at the service counter to ask over the PA.