Here's another..the very condensed version..
Husband and wife are lying in bed, talking:
She: If I died, would you remarry?
He: I might, after a few years
She: Would you live together in this house?
He: Probably. I like it here.
She: Would you let her wear my jewelry?
He: If she wanted to. You have some beautiful pieces, so I expect she might like them.
She: Would you let her use my golf clubs?
He: Nope. She's left handed.
A man calls his wife and says “Pack your bags! I just won the lottery!”
The wife exclaims “That’s wonderful! Should I pack for warm weather or cold weather?”
The man replies “I don’t give a damn what you pack. Just be gone by the time I get home!”