Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
“Hey Baby.....whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?”
She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!!”
While he didn’t want to appear ‘sensitive’, George also didn’t want to miss this ‘be-a-legend’ opportunity either so he asked, “Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe... Why don’t you give ole George here your best last kiss?”
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that. And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,
“Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That’s a real talent you’re wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?”
“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”
It’s still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
Not sure top what. But Happy Friday!!!!
A man is walking along the beach when he sees a woman in a wheelchair crying. He walks over to her and asks her what’s the matter.
“I’ve been wheelchair-bound all my life,” the woman answers, “and I’m feeling a little down because I’ve never known what it’s like to be held by a man.”
The man thinks about it for a moment, and he decides if it will cheer her up, it’s not a big deal. So he lifts her out of the wheelchair and embraces her warmly.
A few days later, he sees the same woman again. And once again, she’s crying. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
“I have never been kissed by a man,” she says. So he leans down and gives her a nice kiss on the lips.
A few days later, he’s walking along the beach again, and guess who he sees. This time, she seems really upset. “What’s the matter?” he asks.
“Well, I’m not sure how to put this,” she says, “but... well... I’ve never been screwed.”
So he lifts her out of the wheelchair and carries her out into the surf. Once he’s about waist-deep in the water, he drops her and says, “Okay, now you’re screwed!”