Women enjoy fantasizing about enjoying sex. Given the opportunity to actually have sex, women prefer instead to fantasize about it. If a man has issues with being aroused, he is certain their is something wrong with him. If a woman has issues with being aroused, she is also certain their is something wrong with him.
I can assure you, from personal experience, that does not apply to all women.
In a supermarket one day, I noticed an attractive man and an attractive woman at the newsstand, facing away from each other. He was looking at Playboy pictures, she was reading a romance novel. They both had that “lonely single” look. Neither was interested in the really attractive person next to them.
Fantasy trumped reality for the man, who wanted to SEE sex, and for the woman, who wanted to HEAR/READ about it.
I have read quotes from post-menopausal women that when they and their married partner reach a certain age, they, the women, hoped to be done with that “foolishness” i.e. sex. I guarantee all the women on this forum that although their motors might slow down a tad, most men do not consider sex “foolishness” when they’re past fifty. I do not condone cheating on your mate for whatever reason, but I’ll just let women know that the majority of men never quite lose their interest in sex.
Sorry to say, but you have obviously been grievously shortchanged by the women in your life if you really believe that women prefer fantasizing about sex to having sex.