"Because of the threat of - ah - cyberterrorism... that we're all... so aware of, I have ordered the Air Force to stand down all nuclear delivery systems, effective - ah - effective immediately. We are doing this because - ah - we feel that it's... umm... that it's the right thing to do."
Obama would say he is doing this because of Republicans, conservatives, Christians,white privilege and finally, to combat global warming. He would then use his pen and phone because he has a 2pm tee time to meet.