Posted on 02/19/2016 7:10:28 AM PST by LibWhacker
This first came to mind:
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps onto the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, “Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table — whole!”
“Sorry,” replied the guy. “He eats everything in sight, the little b@stard. I’ll pay for everything.”
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he’s in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his a$$, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?” he asks.
“Yeah,” replies the guy. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first.”
Meh, I thought we were going to see an actual monkey knife fight.
British slang I’m guessing. They do have weird names for things.
It is British English. Neck means to swallow.
I don’t know that the story here is news. I have been in any number of bars where some money has necked liquor and then pulled a knife on the bartender or on another or on other patrons.
Now, that is a headline you won’t see very often.
Weren’t we treated to a video of 0bama and a Cambridge police officer and some college professor and Joe Biden necking some beer? I would suggest we have seen at least one “money” necking beer.
Somehow I don't remember ever leaving anything in the bottom of my glass but ice. Rum is a terrible thing to waste.
“necking rum dregs
What language is that?”
Drunk kissers?
I must admit, I took your advice and tried it. It made it rather entertaining...:)
No video of the monkey with a knife, but here’s video of a monkey with a full auto AK:
http://youtu.be/GhxqIITtTtU
Drunk monkeys with knives.
I love Friday articles.
I’ve bounced in many a bar, and I’ve seen my share of drunk monkeys. They’re almost always trouble.
That’s why it’s important for bars to card customers. Chances are the monkey isn’t 21 years old.
Planet of the Apes.
Sounds like something from my EARLY Navy Days!
Greatest Headline, Ever.
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