having said that, a good hospice group will make this difficult time much easier to bear. Work with the team and understand that this is your fathers choice. He doesn't need food or drink necessarily like he used to, so try to remember that he isn't "starving " in that sense. His body knows what it is doing. We went thru the same struggle almost 6 years ago for our father. Relieving his pain and making him more comfortable is morally and ethically ok. As his body is shutting down, food and fluids will actually cause more pain and problems. Our father died peacefully at home and hospice was wonderful. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I appreciate you stating this. This is what my sisters and I were told when my mother was in hospice care. She had fallen just after her 97th birthday, and although making it through hip surgery well, just never could get her strength back. It was obvious she was going into a decline, which the hospice nurses were able to explain to us. She had started "seeing" people who had died years ago. We brought her home from the nursing home. There were two of us staying with her at all times and hospice checking on her daily. Our pastor's visit with her may have been the last time she seem lucid at all, acknowledging his words of comfort about her Savior with a nod. After that, she was very peaceful. No desire for food or drink. Her body just did not want or need it. She died peacefully at home about a week later.