My intention, when I wrote that (years ago) was to try to stir the readers heart, to feel the text deeply. I think I achieved that. Hopefully nobody died. :)
I think most readers would find it a bit overwrought. “Is that what I sound like? Geez, get a grip, Petunia!” Trying to verbalize deep suffering almost always ends up sounding like parody; words can’t do everything for us.