They are wonderfully stupid birds.
The worst summer of my life was tending the 20 turkeys my dad bought for meat.
Every stinking day, I had to watch over those morons.
One evening, I went out to put them back in their pen and there were only 19.
I freaked out.
Searched for hours in the dark with no luck.
Found it the next morning, stuck in a puddle of warm tar that had dripped onto the ground.
What possessed that idiot to snuggle into it, I’ll never know.
We tried everything to get the tar off its feathers, with no success.
Dad finally put it out of its misery.
I still carry the guilt of failing that dumb bird.