Ive never done any of the above, not once. But I am sometimes accused of not letting things go. I find this unreasonable. The behavior above is plain old traumatizing and Im not sure Im a bad person for remembering.
Remembering is one thing, dwelling on it and bringing it up is something else. If he cussed at you ten years ago and hasn’t done so since, I’d say it is well past time to move on. When my wife brings up history of single non-repeated incidents 5+ years back as if it happened yesterday and happens all the time, she completely derails my train of thought as I try to make sense of her perspective on life and can’t. We had a discussion about bread in a grocery store 16 years ago (I was raised on fairly cheap bread, she is a believer in whole grains), before we were engaged, that still pops up from time to time.
Good points. I’ll try to make sure that memories don’t get dredged up from too far back. It’s recurrent behavior that’s hard to let go.