Posted on 04/26/2017 6:49:46 PM PDT by Morgana
A writhing pile of up to forty snakes was left in a Walmart parking lot, terrifying shoppers and baffling law enforcement.
Panicked shoppers in Paragould, Arkansas called 911 on Saturday evening, after spotting the terrifying sight of dozens of snakes slithering across the parking lot pavement.
The vile perpetrator who dumped the snakes in the parking lot remains unknown to investigators.
'Someone dropped a s**tload of snakes in the Paragould Walmart parking lot. Lots of copperheads in there, from what I'm told,' resident Tanya Marie Cole wrote in warning on Facebook. 'What the hell is wrong with people?!'
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
‘Someone dropped a s**tload of snakes”
My southern’s rusty. Is that more than a buttload?
I once wrote a blues song, “Stuck Here at Walmart”.
I should add a stanza about these snakes.
Around here, they've started putting up small screens with some of them so you can admire yourself as you go by. At the local grocery, they've put up screens hanging from the ceiling so you can see yourself going into and coming out of the restroom area. Then they've put screens on their new self checkouts so you can see yourself as you scan and pay. I've read that the cameras are all tied in with their facial recognition software.
Here it is, my blues song written under nom de plume:
“Stuck Here at Walmart”
by Smokey Cottonmouth Nixon
“Well I Woke up this morning,
beside the Gunnison highway,
Saw ‘nother man just sittin there,
He didn’t have nothin to say.
Yes I woke up this mornin
On the the Gunnison highway.
The bearded bum sittin in the rain,
He had nothin to say.
The cardboard sign he was holdin’
Told the whole world what was goin down
Said “Stuck here at Walmart”
People just drove right around.
He was watchin the poor grouchy woman
Wearin the blue overalls dress
Cram her groceries into that old Chevy van
Man, she was makin a mess.
So we drank nasty black coffee
Beside the Walmart parking lot
Next to Gunnison Highway
I told him what I done.
Well the woman’s baby was hollerin
Over in Pharmacy,
A wailin and crying
For her mama to see.
Her baby daddy shot a man in Memphis
And truly killin he did need
So that po’ mama ran South to Salida
She has that baby to feed.
That baby daddy in Memphis
He knew he was fixin to die
When he told that po grouchy woman
The blue overalls dress made her butt look big.
Blue Overalls Dress woman told her foolish man
You will never see the electric chair
Then she told me “shoot him bubba”
Baby daddy died right there.
So we ran south to Colorado
On the Rocky Mountain Highway
Thing is them blue overalls dress
Made her butt look fat in a big way.
When I told her that at Walmart
She kicked me out of that Chevy van
Now I am stuck at Walmart
Just like that other Salida man.”
“My southern’s rusty. Is that more than a buttload?”
It depends. Are we talking Kardashian, or regular trailer park?
(Your title brings to mind this old Dylan song, "Stuck Inside Of Walmart With The K-Mart Blues Again".)
(Ok, I changed a couple words in that title, and that is a very shortened version of that song at that link!) :)
This is a mystery ?
Now it it were Macy’s...
You go first.
Serpent orgy.
Well, you are my first potential blues fan. I wrote the lyrics, but never fully composed the music for the tune. I tried collaborating with a friend of mine, “Tio”, who plays a mean guitar, but he dumped the potential partnership for his more promising career as a petroleum engineer.
Honestly, I wrote this song as a joke for my wife, and am flattered you thought about Dylan. Maybe I should get back in touch with Tio!
There really was a man in the parking lot in Salida with a sign saying “Stuck here at Walmart”, and there really was a woman cramming all that shopping in a van there, but the rest, well, I made it up.
;) FE
I hear and I obey, Landru Kardashian.
Union organizers.....
On the other hand...maybe not Ragnar.
I honestly kept waiting for him to bite the head off every snake in that pit.
Maybe the snakes decided on their own to to breed at Walmart.
We cracked up over that scene.
Instead of Adders, Ragnar gets snuggled to death.
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