[Gamecock]

Evans, who was intoxicated

[Basket_of_Deplorables]

Probably thought it was a pedophile. They seem to like pizza.

[Bob]

Tires in the street???

[StolarStorm]

I wish someone would attack me with a Hoagie. I’m hungry.

[COBOL2Java]

When a moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That’s amore
When the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine
That’s amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you’ll sing “Vita bella”
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool
That’s amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You’re in love
When you walk in a dream but you know you’re not dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli
That’s amore

[DannyTN]

How to defend yourself against someone attacking you with fresh fruit pizza.

[beethovenfan]

Was it thick crust?

[Califreak]

When the man hits your eye
with a big pizza pie...

[Tax-chick]

he also hit her in the face with a pizza and even punched the dashboard repeatedly and kicked the door

What did the car do wrong?

[Leep]

If it has more than 10 pieces of pepperoni on it is it considered an assault weapon?

[Larry Lucido]

Was it an open pizza, or a rolled-up calzone?

[Larry Lucido]

Chicago or NY style?

[EdnaMode]

Ban pizza now! No more assault pizzas!

[D_Idaho]

How many more of these senseless tragedies must we endure?
Pizza Control, NOW!

[deadrock]

That’s Amore.

[4Runner]

Why do LEO’s always confound “assault” with “battery”? Assault never involves actual physical contact between antagonists. Uttering a threat to commit bodily harm upon a person without actually carrying out the act, is an “assault”. Carrying out the act is “battery”. Which is a felony. Not hard to understand the difference between the two, but they never seem to.