dear firebrand,
re: “Webster’s continues to mislead the people.”
I use a 4th Collegiate Edition, published before “the magic Negro” even thought about being president.
Now, the question ... “Other than the Oxford Dictionary or Webster’s editions, what mystical book of letters do you use for word definitions?”
“good-bye” is grammatically correct, and has been since I learned that term in the 1950’s.
The Merriam-Webster 11th Collegiate Abridged is the one that almost all copyeditors and proofreaders in book publishing are expected to use. This is so that the freelancers and everyone else concerned do not have to learn a new style sheet for every book.
The last book I handed in had several closed-up spellings for words that the 11th still has as two words. I let these ride except for one, which looked bizarre to me as one word. The whole things starts to look Joycean if you’re not careful.
“Goodbye” is standard in all magazines and newspapers. It’s only book people who are stuck in the past. Newspapers also use cellphone, not cell phone, and a few others that look right to me.
Glad you are interested in dictionaries. If you want a recommendation, I would say the 11th. It’s also online.
You asked about definitions.
The first one listed is the oldest, sometimes marked “archaic.” There’s one dictionary that does it in reverse, just for fun.
I always look at the derivation when I need help. There you learn things like “rack” comes from a word meaning “torture,” and “wrack” comes from a word meaning “destroy.” So by rights it should be “nerve-racking,” not “nerve-wracking.”
Of course the language keeps changing. Gone are the days when you could correct “dumbfounded” to “dumfounded,” “attempted assassination” to “assassination,” and “transpire” to “happen” (it used to mean “be revealed” or “come to be known”). But we still have our fun in other ways.
The OED is the ultimate source for derivations, although the definitions are slanted toward British usage. We used to have the entire 20-volume set in our library. Now you can get an app.
Nothing. Or my own ear and eye from many years of listening to people talk and reading books and periodicals. Often there is only a slight difference between one word and another. It's just common sense and experience and judgment after a certain point.