[Hardastarboard]

The Devil approaches Hillary and says he can make her President, but in exchange she has to sell him her soul, Bill dies, Chelsea and her family die, and everyone Hillary cares for dies.

Hillary stops and thinks for a second and says "OK, but what's the catch?"

Pada pum pum tssh.

[The Deplorable Miss Lemon]

Good laughs everyone and thanks!

[eldoradude]

Good one!!!

Three contractors bid on repair to the white house fence. One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans. All three go with Obama to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well" he says "I figure the job will run about $9,000. That's $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me".

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says "I can do this job for $7,000. That's $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me".

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to Obama and whispers "$27,000". Obama grins and, says "You didn't even measure like the other guys!! How did you come up with such a high figure??"

The Chicago contractor whispers back "$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence!" "Done!" replies Obama.