I think many people would have done the same. Your home is where your heart is.
Concept of “State” doesn’t have the same importance to us these day as it did 150 some odd years ago. That is one reason that many find Lee’s decision troubling. If you look at the world in a 1860s mindset, Lee’s decision is logical and rational. The only contact most people in the United States had with the Federal Government in those days was when the went to the Post Office to mail letter. For the most part their entire lives were built around being a Virginian, or Vermonter or an Alabaman. They did not dwell heavily on being a citizen of the United States. JMO