Hello. My name is Chico the Cauliflower and I hail from Guadalajara, Mexico
I've been appointed as spokesman for all cauliflower and on behalf of all the cauliflower in the world, I just want to apologize for the "white privilege" of cauliflower.
I mean, just walk into the produce section of any supermarket and you not only us cauliflower more prominently displayed than our cruciferous brethren of color (i.e. broccoli; asparagus; brussel sprouts) but we are higher priced as well, no doubt on account of our whiteness. It is obvious that the consumer places a higher value on us cauliflower due to our inherent whiteness.
The cauliflower of the world would like me, as their appointed spokesman, to declare to the world at large that we are ashamed of our white privilege and hereby request, as a measure of our repentance, to be placed forever in the back bins of the produce section with the garlic, turnips and mushrooms. We also request to be marked down to 1/2 price and once taken home, we expect to be placed in a dark cupboard so that we can rot in place with the onions, while we wallow in self-hate and contemplate the indignities that our whiteness has inflicted upon the vegetable community at large.
Thank you and again, we cauliflower are sorry, so, so, sorry. We hate ourselves and you should hate us too.