Posted on 08/17/2019 10:32:53 AM PDT by bitt
U.S.—Stunned meteorologists reported Wednesday that the sea level has risen an astonishing 300 feet overnight, as the sweat from celebrities trying to cover up their sexual harassment scandals rained down “in buckets.”
Vast swathes of the United States are now entirely underwater, including major coastal cities and regions, as the investigations into various celebrities and TV personalities continue.
“This is a worldwide disaster,” one NBC News anchor (not Matt Lauer) said. “We saw an uptick when Harvey Weinstein’s deviant behavior came to light, but when it became clear the revelations wouldn’t be slowing down anytime soon, celebrities and otherwise powerful individuals all across the nation began sweating profusely.”
At publishing time, FEMA disaster officials had recommended that all yet-to-be-outed celebrity perverts simply confess their sins, repent, and find peace with God in Christ, in order to avoid further guilt and flooding.
satire reposted from 11/27/2017
There are much more powerful people around this time who stand to lose a LOT more than an acting career.
Powerful business owners, ex heads of state, maybe current heads of state...
Business at suicide watch companies is “booming.”
They could be altruistic and move to drought areas.
The temperature has also risen several degrees do to the fever pitch of Trump hatred by Hollywood and the rest of the media.
Many criminals do not sweat (no conscience). The just go on to their next victim. Where’s the Harv these days?
Some people will be thrown under the bus; mostly deceased and retired. The rest will escape identification. Has anyone from the Deep State gone to jail yet? Any pre-dawn raids on perjurers? One day Charlie Brown will wake up to Lucy’s tricks.
Not to worry.
No prosecutions and no indictments.
This is America, remember?
LOL
Finally some real Climate science!
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