Here’s my experience. The people who know or work with this person will stop seeing or communicating with him. It’s as if they feel death is contagious. Make a regular contact with him, like every Thursday. He’ll have something to always look forward to. Phone if you’re not in traveling distance, in person if you are. Tell his wife or care giver when you’re going to visit so they can go do stuff, like visit a barber or do the grocery shopping or just get some time off, as caring for someone is exhausting. Just say hello and have some non-death or illness conversation prepared if he doesn’t want to talk. (TV shows, books, the latest news, etc.) Otherwise, just listen to him talk and try to understand what he’s feeling.
“Here’s my experience. The people who know or work with this person will stop seeing or communicating with him. It’s as if they feel death is contagious. Make a regular contact with him, like every Thursday. He’ll have something to always look forward to. Phone if you’re not in traveling distance, in person if you are. Tell his wife or care giver when you’re going to visit so they can go do stuff, like visit a barber or do the grocery shopping or just get some time off, as caring for someone is exhausting. Just say hello and have some non-death or illness conversation prepared if he doesn’t want to talk. (TV shows, books, the latest news, etc.) Otherwise, just listen to him talk and try to understand what he’s feeling”
Thank you... excuse me, I have something in my eye that requires a Kleenex.
Very good advice. I have had to deal with something similar.
My dear friend died from breast cancer which had metastasized from the original bout 30 years prior.
I did exactly as you advise. Her husband knew that I would be there every Tuesday after quilting group. He was able to plan errands, shop, see doctors, etc.
Her friends did keep their distance and I think that bothered her. She did have our visits to look forward to.
Just be there for support. Ask what he needs and wants, then do your best to make that happen.
Great advice!
+1