“Cats only needs are that you feed them and clean their litter box. If your lap looks like the most comfortable place to lay, they’ll lay on you and allow you to pet them. They can’t be trained, only bribed. They are disobedient, think they are the alpha, and if you raise a hand to them they will draw blood.”
Exactly why I’ve never had the slightest interest in having a cat.
Not all cats are like that. They have different personalities. Right now I’ve got a timid but vocal tuxedo who couldn’t hurt a fly and an orange tabby that is as affectionate as any dog could be.