If you all get sick of this, let me know.
OFFICIAL DW TRIAL THREAD GLOSSARY
150-QUADTRILLION-TO-ONE= Proof that Danielle was an Alien whose DNA could not match any individual of the human population on 25 million earth-like planets
BARBED= Having reached the point of being too hot to handle for either the prosecution OR the defense.
BEETLEMANIA= resulting frenzy of hard-shelled insects when their party is moved to another location and postponed for another two weeks.
BUGOLOGIST=hound: a person who is an amateur entomologist who is convinced that the bugs have stated that DW is innocent regardless of blood, fibers, hair and child porn.
BUGOUT= When the first entomology forensics expert hired and normally used by the Prosecution is used to support the defense. As a result, the Prosecution goes out and hires another bug guy from far away that will testify the way he is told.
CHAMELEON-FIBER= a "dull orange" fiber that perfectly matches a "bright orange" fiber when viewed through the world's finest laboratory instruments.
DUSEKED= to have your fragile house of prosecutorial cards collapse when your witness is FELDMANIZED.
DUSEK’S MADNESS= the affliction someone has who knowingly attempts to send an innocent man to the death chamber in spite of glaring exculpatory evidence.
FAULKERNIZED= a natural process whereby maggots destroy a month's worth of court testimony in two hours.
FELDMAN FOR DUMMIES=The art of understanding how defense doesn't deny anything, doesn't deny the blood, hair, fiber and child porn..but spends his time deflecting it towards someone else.
FELDMANIZED - Judicially castrated; having reduced a reasonably intelligent witness to a blithering blob with the coherence of Rain Man and the believability of x42; usually accompanied by rhythmic thumping of DA's head on table. See DUSEKED.
FIRECRACKERS = Posters on a thread that appear as: A bunch of noise and sparks, a little fire, but mostly smoke, and then after a while, they are gone.
FISHES AND LOAVES PIZZA= A seeming unending supply of pizza. Can be bought at NOON on a Friday, and it will feed a family of 5, then will feed the same family of 5 + 2 more guests until 8:30pm, then will feed Mom,Dad, and four guests around 2am Saturday Morning.
GRACEFULL= full of self-importance (as in Nancy Grace), to the great annoyance of others
HELLOCINATING= the Swing Set's delusional belief that everyone they met wanted to come home with them.
HIGH LYING VAN DAMS=Description of the parents of Danielle Van Dam who were repeatedly getting HIGH while their daughter disappeared and met her death. Who now have exhibited a pattern of repeated lying about their activities to police, in the PRELIMs and in the TRIAL. In the meanwhile their daughter may have suffered unbelievable horrors until she met her death, yet they continued to lie. Even know, when finding or convicting the killer is of prime importance, they continue to hide the truth and protect their friends. Also they have gone on, after their daughter’s death. New BMW, trip to the state fair, and appearances in COURT where they display an unusual talent for ACTING. HOSED=being subjected to 24 hour surveillance due to unrolled hose in yard.
HTML CODE SHRIEKING - repeated use of large, colorful fonts in posts. To the annoyance of some, the amusement of others, and the bafflement of newbies.
INSECTOPHILE - To be conversant in life cycles and mating of obscure insects, sprinkled with multi-syllabic terms from college level biology and meteorology. Caused by prolonged exposure to a BUG GUY.
THE IMMACULATE ABDUCTION= The kidnapping of Danielle Van Dam by an unknown (Alias SUPER NINJA DAVE), who broke into a locked house, which had alarms, and a dog, and a father and three children inside. He kidnapped the young female, while drunk, carried her out of the house, flew her to his motorhome (see caped outfit), and murdered her. While in the house, he left no prints, no DNA, no hairs, no fibers, not one piece of evidence he was ever there, and neither the dog, the father, nor the two other children ever noticed anyone had been in their house and walked past their open bedroom doors.
MAGNETOMANIAC= A suspect who devises theories of how the "immaculate abduction" took place.
PIZZA-EATERS: Usually a group of 5 or more of guests and/or family members that is customarily needed to eat a neverending pizza. See: FISHES AND LOAVES PIZZA
PIZZA-PARTY = After coming home from the bar at 2am with friends, new friends, total strangers, you head to the garage for PIZZA. (PIZZA is AKA drugs, sex)
PREMATURE ACCUSATION=An arrest by police of a suspect before they have done investigative work on all of the evidence which might indicate which suspect is the most likely perpetrator.
SCAPECOAT= the jacket owned by DW with Danielle's tiny spot of DNA
SIX-PACK= PIZZA-EATERS all in one bed.
SLUTJACKALS=(1)a bisexually aggressive female type species, with out scruples, restraint, or moral fiber. Willing to settle for anything that satisfies basal desires, and in any way considered momentarily convenient.(2)Masters of deceit, sinister, cold-hearted, savage creatures which prey upon ambushing unsuspecting neighbors.
SWING-SET= For those who don't like playing in the sand box. Usually a set of six, who share the set and enjoy highs and lows.
SWINGER-SIX =Brenda, Barbara, Denise, Larry, Mo and Curly (AKA PIZZA-EATERS)
THE NEVER-ENDING-JOINT= A rolled cigarette of marijuana (wackyweed) that can be smoked by 4 people at 830pm , then smoked by 4 or more people several times in the parking lot of a bar, then can still be smoked by six people in a garage , at 2 in the morning. (Save the roach!)
VAN DAM DAMN VAN = a blue van used in Damon Van Dam's wild ride through all the probable dump sites for Danielle's body on the weekend of Feb 16th. Although Damon does not report having found the body that weekend, the flys did. Now missing in action.
WILD BUG CHASE=Going through a series of BUG EXPERTS, one after another, questioning them in endless circles, in an attempt to get them confused.
AND THE NEWEST ADDITIONS:
REPLY-FOG=Getting so tired and confused on during conversations on the thread that you end up replying to the wrong person, or mistaking the intention or tone of their reply and reply back with an inappropriate response.
DEJACKALED=Removal of definitions that were attacks by certain posters at other posters. Removal of non-productive REPLIES on a thread by refusal to make such a reply yourself, or respond to one made to you. COKEYS=What happens to your keyboard when you read a humorous reply on FR and SPEW your favorite sugar-laced beverage on your keyboard. First, your fingers stick to the keys, then later, you end up with multiple replies and repeating characters due to the keys sticking. Later you end up buying a new keyboard.
DESPERADO SNACK= (AKA Party-Mix) What you do for food after being addicted to the net and FR for so long that you eat and sleep at the PC. Finally you get so addicted you won’t even get up to go get FOOD, so, you turn the keyboard upside down and shake it out over a piece of paper. You then funnel the crumbs into your mouth.
SWEET-TREAT= What you get if you just SPEWED on your keyboard and now you are thirsty and hungry. You quickly make a funnel out of paper and turning the keyboard upside down, funnel the Mixture of PARTY-MIX and COKEYS into a cup, then DRINK IT.
LORD OF THE FLIES= A ‘rogue’ bug expert that can be hired to come up with an EXACT time of death matching what you need to win the case, when all other experts you hired didn’t give you the answer you wanted. This LOTF’s lives in a far off land with no resemblance to nor familiarity with the conditions where the death occurred. All you have to do is send him a lock of hair, some newt toes, the evaluations and information from the other experts and a big bag of CHEETOS. The info must be sent in an envelope and you must mark on the back, in PIG LATIN, the Time of Death you wish him to devine. HE will utter such phrases as “the activity of bugs on the corpse is the same as animal activity on the sides of a recent volcano, and the hairs are like the trees of the forest and , well, the whole planet, the sun, the moon, are like the molecules on the skin cell of a person from the next dimension, and they are just a molecule of a hair on the….., uh,hhhh, what was I, oh yeah , TIME OF DEATH IS ……….”
This expert ‘s fee is very high, due to the fact that he lives so far away, and, well, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH a DECENT BAG of MAUI WOWEEE cost these days !