President Bush and Saddam decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.
Saddam found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk.
After five years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the dog fight, President Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the president because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Iraqi dog.
When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of its cage, and slowly waddled over towards Saddam's dog.
Saddam's dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American Dachshund, but when it got close, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed Saddam's dog in one bite.
There was nothing left of Saddam's dog at all. Saddam came up to President Bush, shaking his head in disbelief.
"We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."
"That's nothing,", said Bush. "We had Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons working for five years to make that alligator look like a wiener dog."