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The Guild 4-12-2003 Hair Spray Saves the Day!

Posted on 04/12/2003 4:04:21 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty

A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place. Candy, too.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see that the colorful little Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.

A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the poor little bunny.

Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. Fifty yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned round, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!!!!

The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven’s name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?"

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."



TOPICS: The Guild
KEYWORDS: guild; theguild
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To: BigWaveBetty
It's going to be hard to leave the TV long enough to go to church today.
41 posted on 04/13/2003 4:33:48 AM PDT by Iowa Granny
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To: Iowa Granny
I don't think they'll announce anytime soon. It took three hours when Jessica was found from the time we "heard" until the time we knew. They have many families to notify.

It looks as though OIF has worked in many different ways:

North Korea Drops Its Demand For One-on-One Talks With U.S.
Shift Could Remove Obstacle to Negotiations on Nuclear Program

SEOUL, April 12 -- North Korea today dropped its demand for one-on-one negotiations with the United States, saying it "will not stick to any particular dialogue format" but will test whether "the U.S. has a political willingness to drop its hostile policy."

The change of position, announced by a Foreign Ministry spokesman, appears to be a concession to the Bush administration's demand for multinational talks about North Korea's nuclear program. Full story

42 posted on 04/13/2003 4:48:14 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty (Mean people SUCK!!!)
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Possible fruits of OIF?

Former Iran president says Tehran should consider ways to restore ties with US
13-04-2003

Iran's former president offered Saturday to help restore ties with the United States. Hashemi Rafsanjani said the nation's Expediency Council, of which he is a member, should consider the issue.

The council advises Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Iran's supreme leader and an opponent of restoring ties with the United States. Rafsanjani also had opposed those ties since stepping down as president in 1997.

Rafsanjani said "the problem of Iran-U.S. relations" should be resolved, either through a referendum or through a decision by the advisory body. Either way, the final decision would have to be confirmed by Khamenei, the official Islamic Republic News Agency (IRNA) quoted him as saying. (Albawaba.com) Link

43 posted on 04/13/2003 4:53:18 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty (Mean people SUCK!!!)
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To: *The GUILD
Quick, before it's vanished go to Sheryl Crow's Fan Forum and enjoy my post: Sheryl is a classy lady.......I'm sure she'll find it in her heart to apologize.... to these poor children that she thought leaving in a Saddam prison would be a better idea than war. Complete with picture. :-)
44 posted on 04/13/2003 5:22:56 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty (Mean people SUCK!!!)
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About time these fools got a good smacking.

Washington D.C. Police knock down a group of anti-war protesters during a march in Washington, April 12, 2003. Thousands demonstrated near the U.S. Capitol and the White House in Washington on Saturday in separate rallies for and against the U.S.-led war in Iraq (news - web sites). REUTERS/William Philpott

Police officers use sticks to beat back protesters against the war in Iraq (news - web sites) during a march in Washington Saturday, April 12, 2003. Protesters turned out in much smaller numbers than in the months leading up to the conflict, and their focus switched from keeping American troops out of Iraq to bringing them home. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

And now some contrast.

Former Republican Sen. Fred Thompson (news, bio, voting record) speaks at the rally supporting U.S.troops Saturday, April 12, 2003 in Washington. Protesters in the United States and abroad renewed their campaign against the conflict Saturday. In Washington, 10 blocks from an antiwar demonstration, supporters of the war effort drew thousands to their own rally. (AP Photo/Lisa Nipp)

45 posted on 04/13/2003 5:36:28 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty (Mean people SUCK!!!)
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This is so priceless.

Senator puts his charitable image on auction block

U.S. Sen. John F. Kerry, who was scorched in his 1996 campaign for making only piddling donations to charity, apparently hasn't gotten any more generous since deciding he wanted to become president.

At a recent charity event for Holy Name Parish School in West Roxbury, Kerry was among a slew of politicians, businesses and others who chipped in items for a ``Reach for the Stars'' auction.

Most of the pols and corporate bigwigs donated expensive dinners, tickets or other valuable items for the auction, which raised money for science and reading textbooks.

Mayor Thomas M. Menino graciously submitted an exclusive catered dinner at the Parkman House. U.S. Rep. Stephen Lynch (D-South Boston) offered a personal tour of the White House and a lunch in the House member's dining room - an item valued as ``priceless'' by auction organizers.

City Councilor John Tobin came through with a coveted pair of Red Sox tickets in the new Green Monster seats. U.S. Sen. Edward M. Kennedy and the Stenger family offered a painting by Kennedy of his boat, ``The Maya.'' [I can't believe anyone thought a painting by the bloated one would be a good thing.]

Other auction items included Celtics tickets, a round of golf at the prestigious Country Club in Brookline and a weekend at a Nantucket inn.

So what did Kerry offer?

An 8 x 10 autographed photo - of himself.

The winning bid was a grand total of $18, according to sources. That would pay for about one chapter of a textbook.

``It was either the signed photo or personal guitar lessons from Sen. Kerry,'' said Kerry spokesman Kyle Sullivan. ``We thought the photo had more value.''

Thanks, John.

Thread

46 posted on 04/13/2003 6:00:55 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty (Mean people SUCK!!!)
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To: Iowa Granny
Thanks for the tip! I'll check it out! : -)
47 posted on 04/13/2003 6:36:09 AM PDT by DaughterofEve (<<Still searching for her 1998 FR Screenname)
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To: BigWaveBetty
``It was either the signed photo or personal guitar lessons from Sen. Kerry,'' said Kerry spokesman Kyle Sullivan. ``We thought the photo had more value.''

Looks like Teresa isn't loosening the pursestrings even a tiny bit for her dear husband, or he at least could have offered a case of pickles.

48 posted on 04/13/2003 6:45:29 AM PDT by mountaineer
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To: All
Sen. John D. Rockefeller IV says democracy won't work in Iraq, and the Iraqi people can't handle it - thread here

I swear, only Democrats hate freedom more (or as much as) tyrants.

49 posted on 04/13/2003 7:41:28 AM PDT by mountaineer
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To: mountaineer; DaughterofEve; BigWaveBetty; All
Am I the only one who thinks it is slightly more than coincidence that Iran and Korea are anxious to improve their relations with the USA?

Wasn't it Teddy Roosevelt who said, "Speak softly, but carry a big stick"?

Well, when you use that big stick, it seems the bad boys suddenly decide to settle down.
50 posted on 04/13/2003 7:52:23 AM PDT by Iowa Granny
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To: Iowa Granny
I guess it was past time to remind people...including some here in the motherland...who we are.
51 posted on 04/13/2003 8:02:07 AM PDT by DaughterofEve (<<Still searching for her 1998 FR Screenname)
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To: mountaineer
only Democrats hate freedom more (or as much as) tyrants.

I'm grammatically challenged this a.m. I meant "more than."

EXTREME BAD TASTE alert:

FASHION designer Stella McCartney had to be edited at a recent Beverly Hills gala in her honor sponsored by Saks Fifth Avenue and Cedars-Sinai. McCartney told event organizers she "wanted to pick out the tablecloths for the gala," an insider told New York magazine. The pattern she came up with featured monkeys fornicating with human skeletons. For good measure, some of the monkeys were holding guns to their heads. The tables were covered in light pink and white instead. Page Six

THIS JUST IN: Photos of rescued POWs here

52 posted on 04/13/2003 8:05:29 AM PDT by mountaineer
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To: mountaineer
Oh man. I wonder where WE could get some of those tablecloths? Monkeys fornicating with skeltons. That's defintely something I'd like to look at while I eat. Good Lord in Heaven. I wonder where that dunce went to school.
53 posted on 04/13/2003 9:14:11 AM PDT by Iowa Granny
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To: Iowa Granny
Really, and what has to be going through the sicko mind of a person designing fabric with such a pattern?
54 posted on 04/13/2003 9:18:46 AM PDT by mountaineer
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To: Iowa Granny; All
Ugh, it's almost college graduation time, and that means politicians delivering moronic speeches to the graduates:

Topping the list of big-name speakers is Clinton, America's 42nd president and former Arkansas governor. He will deliver the commencement speech at Tougaloo College in Jackson at 10 a.m. May 18. Clinton will also receive an honorary doctor of humane letters degree from Tougaloo President Beverly Hogan. link.

55 posted on 04/13/2003 9:30:46 AM PDT by mountaineer
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To: mountaineer
Tougaloo College?

bent's slipping...
56 posted on 04/13/2003 4:57:10 PM PDT by lodwick
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57 posted on 04/13/2003 4:57:45 PM PDT by lodwick
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To: lodwick
Jennings looks fantastic in a beret. So suave, so French. Yet, mysteriously and exotically Middle Eastern, almost.
58 posted on 04/13/2003 5:08:43 PM PDT by mountaineer
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To: mountaineer
I honestly hope Bob makes it out and is allowed to take his righful place among the news giants of the world.

Terrific Bob statements here

Cheers all, we went shooting today and I'm fading fast...zzzzzzzzz.

59 posted on 04/13/2003 6:19:10 PM PDT by lodwick
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To: lodwick; All
Good Morning, Guilders.
60 posted on 04/14/2003 2:47:17 AM PDT by Iowa Granny
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