The Guild 7-3-2003 Celebrate Freedom!

[BigWaveBetty]

Grill something up for the 4th! Check out the guru of grilling, STEVEN RAICHLEN, president of BBQ University.

The TEN COMMANDMENTS of grilling:

1. BE ORGANIZED. Have everything you need for grilling - the food, marinade, basting sauce, seasonings, and equipment - on hand and at grillside before you start grilling.

2. GAUGE YOUR FUEL.
There’s nothing worse than running out of charcoal or gas in the middle of grilling. When using charcoal, light enough to form a bed of glowing coals 3 inches larger on all sides than the surface area of the food you’re planning to cook. (A 221/2-inch grill needs one chimney’s worth of coals.) When cooking on a gas grill, make sure the tank is at least one-third full.

3. PREHEAT THE GRILL TO THE RIGHT TEMPERATURE.
Remember: Grilling is a high-heat cooking method. In order to achieve the seared crust, charcoal flavor, and handsome grill marks associated with masterpiece grillmanship, you must cook over a high heat. How high? At least 500°F. Although I detail this elsewhere, it is worth repeating: When using charcoal, let it burn until it is covered with a thin coat of gray ash. Hold your hand about 6 inches above the grate. After 3 seconds, the force of the heat should force you to snatch your hand away. When using a gas grill, preheat to high (at least 500°F); this takes 10 to 15 minutes. When indirect grilling, preheat the grill to 350°F.

4. KEEP IT CLEAN.
There’s nothing less appetizing than grilling on dirty old burnt bits of food stuck to the grate. Besides, the food will stick to a dirty grate. Clean the grate twice: once after you’ve preheated the grill and again when you’ve finished cooking. The first cleaning will remove any bits of food you may have missed after your last grilling session. Use the edge of a metal spatula to scrape off large bits of food, a stiff wire brush to finish scrubbing the grate.

5. KEEP IT LUBRICATED.
Oil the grate just before placing the food on top, if necessary (some foods don’t require that the grates be oiled). Spray it with oil (away from the flames - see page 13), use a folded paper towel soaked in oil, or rub it with a piece of fatty bacon, beef fat, or chicken skin.

6. TURN, DON’T STAB.
The proper way to turn meat on a grill is with tongs or a spatula. Never stab the meat with a carving fork - unless you want to drain the flavor-rich juices onto the coals.

7. KNOW WHEN TO BASTE.
Oil-and-vinegar-, citrus-, and yogurt-based bastes and marinades can be brushed on the meat throughout the cooking time. (If you baste with a marinade that you used for raw meat or seafood, do not apply it during the last 3 minutes of cooking.) When using a sugar-based barbecue sauce, apply it toward the end of the cooking time. The sugar in these sauces burns easily and should not be exposed to prolonged heat.

8. KEEP IT COVERED.
When cooking larger cuts of meat and poultry, such as a whole chicken, leg of lamb, or prime rib, use the indirect method of grilling or barbecuing (see pages 14 and 16). Keep the grill tightly covered and resist the temptation to peek. Every time you lift the lid, you add 5 to 10 minutes to the cooking time.

9. GIVE IT A REST.
Beef, steak, chicken - almost anything you grill-will taste better if you let it stand on the cutting board for a few minutes before serving. This allows the meat juices, which have been driven to the center of a roast or steak by the searing heat, to return to the surface. The result is a juicier, tastier piece of meat.

10. NEVER DESERT YOUR POST.
Grilling is an easy cooking method, but it demands constant attention. Once you put something on the grill (especially when using the direct method), stay with it until it’s cooked. This is not the time to answer the phone, make the salad dressing, or mix up a batch of your famous mojitos. Above all, have fun. Remember that grilling isn’t brain surgery. And that’s the gospel!

RECIPES!

[BigWaveBetty]

Good Morning!

[lodwick]

Hey -

Thanks for the Independence Day thread. Nice. Here are today's prayers, courtesy of null and void:

WOMAN'S PRAYER:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who's loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks.
When he says he'll call, he won't wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed.
When I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never attempt to hit on my friend.
Amen.


MAN'S PRAYER:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns
a liquor store and a boat.
Amen.

Happy 4th eve all.

[BigWaveBetty]

Isn't blubba supposed to be on a fabulous new diet? It doesn't appear to be working.

Former U.S. President Bill Clinton (news - web sites) arrives in Downing Street, London, to meet with Britain's Prime Minister Tony Blair (news - web sites) and Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern on July 2, 2003.

[BigWaveBetty]

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a boat.

Like my Dad always said, "You can't have your cake and eat it too." :-)

[lodwick]

Telemarketer Comebacks:

In the middle of the caller's memorized sales pitch, interrupt with, "What causes a hiccup?"

When someone asks whether a spouse is at home, "Yes, but I never allow him/her to talk to strangers.

You want to sell me insurance? I've been trying to get insurance for years, but nobody will sell me any!

To a salesperson hawking a rug-cleaning service, whisper, "Do you get goat's blood out? How about identifiable fibers and that DNA stuff?"

Another response to rug-cleaners or any person offering house cleaninng... (Break into tears and say), "Is this some kind of joke? My house burned down last night! We lost everything!"

To a phone company solicitor, "That sounds great! Wait, can you hold for a minute?" (Leave the phone off the hook until he hangs up.)


Keep an air horn handy and use it.

Use your touch-tone phone to annoy the caller by playing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb." 6-5-4-5
6-6-6
5-5-5
6-6-6
6-5-4-5
6-6-6-6
5-5-6-5
4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4


1,483 posted on 07/03/2003 1:26 AM CDT by Mo1

[BigWaveBetty]

In this pic it looks like Tony is trying to get his hand back. Wonder if Mr. Blair is as disgusted with Mandella as you and I are.

[mountaineer]

Here's a thread on Blubba's adventures in London (meeting with Blair and Ahern at 10 Downing St., and his big Rhodes scholar banquet with Mandela).

[lodwick]

Little Grace was not the best student in parochial school.

Usually she slept through her classes.

One day the Nun called on her while she was napping and said,

"Tell me, Grace; who created the universe?"

When Grace didn't stir, little Johnny, seated in the chair behind her, took a pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty!" shouted Grace, and the Nun said, "Very good".

Soon Grace fell back asleep. A while later the Nun called on Grace and asked, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"

But, Grace didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Little Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her with his pencil.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Grace and the Nun said "Very Good" and Grace sat back down and started to fall back asleep.

Then the Nun asked Grace a third question.

"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

This time Grace was just awake enough to hear the question - and she knew what was coming, so she jumped up and shouted,

"If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

The Nun fainted.


1,484 posted on 07/03/2003 1:34 AM CDT by Mo1

[lodwick]

That pic is so disturbing.

WTH is going on with them?

[mountaineer]

There seems to be a great deal of handholding going on between Blubba and Mandela. Isn't that special.

[Carolina]

Good mornin', y'all. TS Bill has left a mess in my yard. AAACCCCKKK!! I spent the last month with a huge landscaping project and got it done just as the first raindrops plopped on my nose.

Ah, well. Physical labor is good.

I see Blowhard Bill is still leaving a mess in his wake. When will he dissipate?

[BigWaveBetty]

So sorry about the blustery Bill! My daughter in Lousiana said they barely got a lick of rain.

This lady should have kept some of that 40 million for another trip to the plastic surgeon's office.

Caption: Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton tells reporters that not even she would touch that Frankenstein boob job.

Real caption:

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (news - web sites) (D-NY), author and children's advocate Cheryl Saban (center) and Marion Anderson (right), co-chair of the Children's Hospital Los Angeles Board of Trustees react to an ethusiastic crowd after the dedication of the Saban Research Institute, June 29, 2003 in Hollywood, California. Cheryl and Haim Saban made a $40 million contribution to support and stimulate pediatric medical research at Children's Hospital Los Angeles. The donation is believed to be the largest single gift of its kind to a children's hospital in North America. REUTERS/Bob Riha, Jr./CHLA

[Iowa Granny]

I seem to recall when Mandella visited the Bush White House, there was a photo on the Dose of GW helping Mandella down the steps. I'm thinking Mandella doesn't motate very well and needs assistance. Has anyone ever heard or read anything about him having a bad back, bad knees or hips?

[mountaineer]

She's a man, baby! Ms. Saban reminds me of the tennis player Renee (Richard Raskind) Richards.

[lodwick]

[Carolina]

She's a man, baby! Ms. Saban reminds me of the tennis player Renee (Richard Raskind) Richards.

   
Hmmmm. Separated at birth?

[BigWaveBetty]

Perhaps Mr. Saban couldn't find a nice jewish girl. He's certainly has enough money to change a nice jewish boy into a nice jewish girl. When he isn't passing it out to dems that is.....

[BigWaveBetty]

Good grief these people are creepy!

Stepping up to the microphone after a shower of accolades, the Sabans, who made headlines last year for making a $7 million donation to the Democratic National Committee, shared their personal connection to the private hospital.

Twenty-eight years ago, as a young mother, Cheryl Saban recalled "bolting through the door with a severely injured infant."

"I was attached to that baby by heart strings," said Saban.Link

Does anyone else think the last two quotes are strange? A severely injured infant, not my son/daughter. And that baby reminds me of, "Ah did not have sex with that woman......"

[lodwick]

For those of us who don't get out much:

Haim Saban is half-owner of Fox Family Worldwide, a company that produces and broadcasts programming via the Fox Family Channel and Fox Kids' Network. His own company, Saban Entertainment, is best known for producing the children's show "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers." Saban is a long-time financial supporter of the Democratic Party, as is his wife Cheryl, who is a writer and producer for Fox Family Worldwide.