Arnold Schwarzenegger Shuns Debate, Suggests A Posedown

NewsHax wire -- After agreeing to what he thought was a posedown with the other California gubernatorial candidates Wednesday evening, the best known Republican in the race, Arnold Schwarzenegger, cancelled his appearance at his first and -- most likely, only -- debate of the campaign.

Said Schwarzenegger, "I just found out that the contest Wednesday is not a posedown as was told to my campaign team, but is actually a debate. I have already stated that I have too many other priorities than a so called debate with mere mortals, such as secret meetings with my new masters. However, I will participate in a posedown Wednesday night, that is if my rivals are not scared wimps and would rather sit in their suits and talk to each other like little 8th grade schoolgirls."

His opponents had no comments, except Governor Gray Davis who really just wanted to take the opportunity to remind everyone that he once made out with Cybil Shephard. (more...)

During his speech Sunday, Schwarzenegger also outlined several proposals to cut air pollution in California by 50 percent before 2011.

"First of all I have quit hitting the bong" says Schwarzenegger, "and I'll personally hold democrats to their environmental word and require them to all drive electric cars by 2010. I'm the real enviro-mental in this race. Some of my best friends are environments."

Schwarzenegger also promised Sunday to create a network of protein milkshake stations throughout the state in order to promote increased use of leg powered vehicles. "Get pumped!" says Schwarzenegger. "You can't develop the upper torso until you have a strong base to build it on. You will all thank me now or thank me later"

He also said he would limit coastal oil drilling to only Texas companies, and seeks to reduce Californias already rock bottom energy consumption by 20 percent within two years with his initiative calling for everyone to live in Malibu, where homes don't need much air conditioning.

Arnold's rare public speech in front of the press came a day before the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals was scheduled to hear arguments on whether to uphold an earlier ruling by a smaller panel last week that the election must be postponed until punch card ballots can be upgraded to more reliable voting machines.

Following his speech, Schwarzenegger criticized Davis' environmental record to eager reporters salivating over a chance to quote the Terminator.

"Gray Davis has just started talking about the environment the last few days," Schwarzenegger said. But when reminded of the numerous environmental bills signed by Davis in the last year, he called 'do-overs' and said, "I'm not aware of all those environmental bills that (Davis) has signed the last year."

Schwarzenegger, who has called Wednesday's forum "the Mr. Universe of debates," is preparing extensively for it, aides said. "He has been memorizing soundbites for days on end now, so that when we flash our colored cue cards, he will associate the color with the proper response. If we flash a blue card for example, that means he is to remind everyone about how he is an immigrant and respects minorities, despite the fact that he's a wealthy, white, Hollywood republican. It can't fail."

To: per loin; Admin Moderator

Okay, then answer me THIS: how come so many threads get banished to "general" but this one remains on the front page? Hmmmm.........shouldn't this one be sent to general like all other "humor" threads?

9 posted on 09/23/2003 7:44 AM PDT by EggsAckley (......................whatever...................)
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To: EggsAckley

Quit crying already. You got your wish.

10 posted on 09/23/2003 7:45 AM PDT by Sir Gawain
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