Skip to comments.Satan's version of the sermon on the mount
Posted on 10/02/2003 5:49:46 AM PDT by AppyPappy
1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Believers -- they are my best workers.
2. Blessed are those Believers who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked -- I can use them
3. Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church -- they are my missionaries.
4. Blessed are the troublemakers -- they shall be called my children.
5. Blessed are the complainers -- I'm all ears to them.
6. Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes -- for they get nothing out of his sermons
7. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church -- for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.
8. Blessed are those who gossip -- for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.
9. Blessed are those who are easily offended -- for they will soon get angry and quit
10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work -- for they are my helpers.
11. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister -- for he shall be with me forever.
12. Blessed are you who, when you read this think it is about other people and not yourself -- I've got you, too!
/liberal anti-christian feminism
|Aww man! Enough of the fundraiser posts!!!|
|Only YOU can make fundraiser posts go away. Please contribute!|
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.