Satan's version of the sermon on the mount

UCM Forum ^

[AppyPappy]

1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Believers -- they are my best workers.

2. Blessed are those Believers who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked -- I can use them

3. Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church -- they are my missionaries.

4. Blessed are the troublemakers -- they shall be called my children.

5. Blessed are the complainers -- I'm all ears to them.

6. Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes -- for they get nothing out of his sermons

7. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church -- for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

8. Blessed are those who gossip -- for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.

9. Blessed are those who are easily offended -- for they will soon get angry and quit

10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work -- for they are my helpers.

11. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister -- for he shall be with me forever.

12. Blessed are you who, when you read this think it is about other people and not yourself -- I've got you, too!

[EuroFrog]

We need to amend the Bible so that whole gossip thing doesnt apply to women.

/liberal anti-christian feminism

[Support Free Republic]

Aww man! Enough of the fundraiser posts!!!

Only YOU can make fundraiser posts go away. Please contribute!