Racketeering suit names nearly 70 Miami lawyers

Overlawyered.com ^ | October 17, 2003 | Walter Olson

[friendly]

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Lexus

The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and it wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up. Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically.

His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.


The cop replied, "My God, don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"

"Oh My God!" screamed the lawyer. "My Rolex!!

[longtermmemmory]

Any lawyer will always be considered guilty until such time as he can prove his or her innocence.
** **** ******

Already the case, a bar prosecutor says they generally go by guilty until proven innocent.

remember not every lawyer does personal injury (as this case) or criminal defense (as from operation court broom). Not all lawyers are eeeeevil. There were lawyers in 2000 protesting with the rest of us against the rats. I have the pictures to prove it.

[friendly]

And one final one for the evening:

A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, "What's happened to your car?" "Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer". "Okay," says the man, "That explains the blood... but what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?" "Well, I had to chase him all through the park."

[blackbart.223]

Food for thought. Most politicians are law school graduates.

[friendly]

bttt

[11B3]

More food for thought: It is technically illegal for attorneys to be members of Congress. As members of the Bar, they are part of the Judicial Branch, and therefore not eligible to serve in the Legislative Branch.

[blackbart.223]

More food for thought: It is technically illegal for attorneys to be members of Congress. As members of the Bar, they are part of the Judicial Branch, and therefore not eligible to serve in the Legislative Branch.

On top of that most attorneys take the title of esquier, a title of nobility, which was also frowned on by The Founders.

[11B3]

I can't resist the temptation to post a lawyer joke, so here it is:

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a
fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his
tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and
now I'm going to retreive it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over
here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the
U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take
everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do
things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas
Three-Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick
me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into
the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.

His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face.

The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a
kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet
and said, "Okay, you old coot! Now, it's my turn!"

The old farmer smiled and said, "No, I give up. You can have the duck!"

[friendly]

bttt LOL

[Ready4Freddy]

Wow, ~47 posts before those hoary (and incorrect) nuggets appeared. One would think that FR deserves better than that.

[Rome2000]

Mayor Pinga Picanya

[freeangel]

OOOps! Sorry I forgot to use my sarcasm signs, I just thought it would be obvious that lawyers think they are immune to any laws when it comes to themselves and should ALWAYS be free to do anything without penalties.

[dagoofyfoot]

No, I give up. You can have the duck.


LOL!

I got myself a new pair of boots...
genuine lawyer skin...


They cost me $300....

...an hour.

[freeangel]

Sorry, but you missed my point because I didn't think the sarcasm thingies were necessary..sigh.

[TopQuark]

Thanks for the clarification.
Regards, TQ.

[fso301]

Only 70 lawyers?

[friendly]

Only 70 lawyers?

Yes, it seems so few when one considers that the vast majority of the USA's one million lamprey parasitic exploitative bloodsuckers, oops I meant distinguished members of the bar, are hard-core sociopaths in $3000 silk suits!

[friendly]

OOOps! Sorry I forgot to use my sarcasm signs, I just thought it would be obvious that lawyers think they are immune to any laws when it comes to themselves and should ALWAYS be free to do anything without penalties.

Don't worry or waste your time on loony disruptors. Your posts are appreciated!

[friendly]

bttt

[Elliott Jackalope]

The problem with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't find them funny, and the rest of us don't think they're jokes.