[Egon]

2003: In a surprising moment of clarity, Congress decides that it would be easier to simply cede California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas to Mexico outright. "If there aren't any borders, there won't be any undocumented citizens trying to overrun them," Sen. Daschle is overheard saying, "Problem solved!"

[Lazamataz]

2003: In a surprising moment of clarity, Congress decides that it would be easier to simply cede California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas to Mexico outright. "If there aren't any borders, there won't be any undocumented citizens trying to overrun them," Sen. Daschle is overheard saying, "Problem solved!"

2005: President Hillary Clinton, elected by 4,209% of registered Democrats, decides that fighting Al-Qaeda is "too bloody and unfair to Muslims". She cedes the remaining states to Al-Qaeda, the territories now to be referred to as the "United States of Al-Qaeda". She is to be the only woman in America not required to wear a bhurka.