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Scientist hits a Homer with 'tomacco' creation
National Post ^ | Thursday, November 13, 2003 | Scott Stinson

Posted on 11/13/2003 8:25:36 AM PST by Grig

An Oregon scientist inspired by Homer Simpson has successfully created "tomacco" -- a tomato plant that contains nicotine.

But Rob Baur is now worried that he has produced "the ultimate Frankenfood" and that it could, in fact, be deadly to eat.

Mr. Baur says the idea to cross-breed tomatoes and tobacco came from an episode of The Simpsons that first aired in 1999. After inadvertently challenging a southern colonel to a pistols-at-dawn duel, the Simpson patriarch decides to flee to his childhood farm with his family to live off the land.

He accidentally mixes tomato and tobacco seeds and after applying borrowed plutonium to his fields -- "a little boost for Mother Nature" -- grows the tomacco hybrid. It tastes awful, but is highly addictive, as several farm animals and his son, Bart, soon discover.

Mr. Baur, 53, vaguely recalled reading about cross-breeding the two plants during a university class in the 1970s. The idea kicked around in his head for a while, then he set to work. He grew both plants, then cut the tops of each and switched them around. Both promptly died.

Undeterred, and without a source of plutonium handy, Mr. Baur grew the plants again, this time hollowing a portion of each out and grafting them together. The plant took form, and after weeks of pruning, he now has a large tobacco root that has sprouted a tomato branch. The branch has yielded one ripe fruit, and tests have shown the leaves contain nicotine -- the fruit will be tested for nicotine tomorrow. The scientist says he expects the fruit will contain much higher levels of the addictive ingredient.

"I'm amazed to have grown anything," Mr. Baur said in a telephone interview from his Lake Oswego home. "It looks like a tomato, but the plumbing has changed. Now there's nicotine pumping in from the roots."

But Mr. Baur is having a Dr. Frankenstein moment, noting that nicotine, when ingested orally, can be fatal to humans at levels higher than 150 milligrams. He fears his tomacco plant contains "multiple fatal doses."

"I grew this thing, and then I thought, 'Now what am I going to do with it?'"

He considered selling his unique piece of Simpsons memorabilia on eBay, but worried about what the buyer might do.

"Would you put it on your desk at work? What if someone comes by and takes a bite? This is the ultimate Frankenfood."

Mr. Baur, an operations analyst in an Oregon waste-water facility, admits it would be a relief if the fruit turns out to be nicotine-free, although it would likely mean the end of his sudden notoriety.

"It's funny, nobody called me up to talk about my fermenting sludge patent," he said.

On the Simpsons tomacco episode, townspeople -- and farm animals -- cannot get enough of the addictive fruit, and cigarette executives offer Homer $150-million for his invention.

So far, Mr. Baur's telephone has been silent but for the occasional reporter and one anti-tobacco activist whose television is set to record anything that mentions tobacco.

"The ATF hasn't been here either," he notes.

But the anti-tobacco activist is going to drop by for a visit. He has family in the area.

Mr. Baur's friends want to know what he will attempt next. Would he consider moving straight into recreational drugs?

"A few people want to know if I could make toma-nnibis or marij-tomato. I don't think so."

And he hasn't ruled out mining his collection of Simpsons DVDs for further ideas.

"There's always the Flaming Moe," he notes, a reference to the drink invented by bartender Moe Sizlak that briefly makes him the toast of Springfield. "I'm sure there's a recipe on the Internet somewhere."


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: pufflist; simpsons

1 posted on 11/13/2003 8:25:36 AM PST by Grig
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To: Grig
I loved Cletus's line from that episode:

"Stranger, yer trespassin' on my dirt farm."
2 posted on 11/13/2003 8:27:34 AM PST by diamondjoe
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To: Grig
"There's always the Flaming Moe," he notes, a reference to the drink invented by bartender Moe Sizlak that briefly makes him the toast of Springfield. "I'm sure there's a recipe on the Internet somewhere."

Flaming Moe

3 posted on 11/13/2003 8:33:08 AM PST by Trailerpark Badass
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To: Trailerpark Badass
Oops,

Flaming Moe

4 posted on 11/13/2003 8:34:57 AM PST by Trailerpark Badass
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To: Trailerpark Badass
The drink was invented by Homer, not Moe. Moe stole it.
5 posted on 11/13/2003 8:35:34 AM PST by Phantom Lord (Distributor of Pain, Your Loss Becomes My Gain)
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To: mhking
Great...

JD ping
6 posted on 11/13/2003 8:36:30 AM PST by 4mycountry (I don't approve of political jokes.... too many of them get elected.)
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To: Grig
I wonder if this guy has thought about the new smoking material he's growing.
7 posted on 11/13/2003 8:38:30 AM PST by thinktwice (Thank God for freedom, the internet, and FreeRepublic.com.,)
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To: Grig; wimpycat
So at the moment of success, did this guy give a diabolical laugh while shouting "Fools! I'll destroy them all!"?
8 posted on 11/13/2003 8:38:55 AM PST by Chancellor Palpatine
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To: Grig
Mr. Baur, an operations analyst in an Oregon waste-water facility, admits it would be a relief if the fruit turns out to be nicotine-free, although it would likely mean the end of his sudden notoriety.

Considering nicotine is present in all tomatoes producing a nicotine free tomato would help him keep his noteriety.

9 posted on 11/13/2003 8:40:16 AM PST by Gabz (Smoke gnatzies - small minds buzzing in your business - swat'em!!!)
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To: Grig

10 posted on 11/13/2003 8:41:10 AM PST by Phantom Lord (Distributor of Pain, Your Loss Becomes My Gain)
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To: Gabz; *puff_list; Just another Joe; SheLion; Max McGarrity; Flurry; CSM; Mears; metesky; ...
Puff on this!!!!!!!

I plan on growing my tobacco next year right alongside my tomatoes and eggplant.
11 posted on 11/13/2003 8:42:47 AM PST by Gabz (Smoke gnatzies - small minds buzzing in your business - swat'em!!!)
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To: Coop
pingaroonie, neighbor.
12 posted on 11/13/2003 8:48:40 AM PST by patton (I wish we could all look at the evil of abortion with the pure, honest heart of a child.)
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To: Phantom Lord
Is this a case of "Life imitating Bart"?
13 posted on 11/13/2003 8:53:53 AM PST by T.Smith
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To: Chancellor Palpatine
Ooh. I think that might go against #24 on the Evil Overlord List of things not to do:

"I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)"
-- Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach

14 posted on 11/13/2003 9:04:12 AM PST by robertpaulsen
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To: Grig
A tomato that gives a nicotine buzz could actually induce a new enthusiasm for salads.

But could Dan Quayle spell it?

15 posted on 11/13/2003 10:23:58 AM PST by DonQ
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To: Grig
I'd buy one, just because it would be the one Simpson's item I don't have yet!
16 posted on 11/13/2003 10:26:36 AM PST by Teacher317
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To: Grig
An anti tobacco activist who's TV is programmed to record anything that mentions tobacco???

Would you say that this guy need a life?
17 posted on 11/13/2003 2:32:15 PM PST by Mears
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To: Grig
"A few people want to know if I could make toma-nnibis or marij-tomato. I don't think so."

There was a book back in the seventies that gave directions for grafting hops to marijuana roots. I'll bet it made interesting beer !

18 posted on 11/13/2003 3:08:08 PM PST by jimt
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