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Shamed to Death
Pioneer Press ^ | Nov 16, 2003 | SORAYA SARHADDI NELSON Knight Ridder News Service

Posted on 11/17/2003 7:43:32 AM PST by Lijahsbubbe

'Honor crimes' against Palestinian women and girls appear to be increasing, but the issue gets little attention against a backdrop of poverty and war.

ABU QASH, West Bank

Rofayda Qaoud — raped by her brothers and impregnated — refused to commit suicide, her mother recalls, even after she bought the unwed teenager a razor with which to slit her wrists. So Amira Abu Hanhan Qaoud says she did what she believes any good Palestinian parent would to restore her family's honor.

Armed with a plastic bag, razor and wooden stick, Qaoud entered her sleeping daughter's room on Jan. 27. "Tonight you die, Rofayda," she told the girl, before wrapping the bag tightly around her head. Next, Qaoud sliced Rofayda's wrists, ignoring her muffled pleas of "No, mother, no!" After her daughter went limp, Qaoud struck her in the head with the stick.

Killing her sixth-born child took 20 minutes, Qaoud tells a visitor through a stream of tears. "She killed me before I killed her," says the 43-year-old mother of nine. "I had to protect my children. This is the only way I could protect my family's honor."

The guilty brothers are in jail.

Qaoud's confessed crime, for which she must appear before a three-judge panel on Dec. 3, is one repeated almost weekly among Palestinians living in the West Bank, Gaza Strip and Israel. Female virtue and virginity define a family's reputation in Arab cultures, so it's women who are punished if that reputation is perceived as sullied.

Victims' rights groups say the number of "honor crimes" appears to be climbing but at the same time getting little attention. Israelis and Palestinians are too busy with political and military issues to notice what they dismiss as domestic disputes, says Suad Abu-Dayyeh, who works for the Women's Center for Legal Aid and Counseling in East Jerusalem.

Poverty and war have exacerbated the problem, says Nadera Shalhoub-Kevorkian, a social work and criminology professor at Hebrew University in Jerusalem and an expert on violence against women.

"Men do not have any power except over women," she says.

Police in Israel investigated at least 18 honor killings in the past three years.

Palestinian police reported 31 cases in 2002, up from five during the first half of 1999 — the last time such incidents were counted before the current Palestinian uprising began, according to the center's study.

But the number of killings is likely higher, given that Palestinian police investigate only crimes that have been reported, said Yousef Tarifi, the Ramallah prosecutor assigned to Qaoud's case. Shalhoub-Kevorkian says her past research showed the likely number to be 15 times higher than the number of reported cases.

Legal authority on the West Bank has been weakened by Israel's military crackdown, and the growing influence of militant Islamic factions has led clans to dole out their own justice. "In this chaotic situation, every man who thinks he knows a little bit of the Quran … thinks honor issues are supposed to be resolved by killing," says Shalhoub-Kevorkian, who adds that leading Muslim clerics in Jerusalem and Jordan have denounced such killings.

Qaoud says her husband, Abdul Rahim, 52, told her the Quran forbade such killings. But neither his pleas nor those of Palestinian crisis counselors swayed her. "Why did she accept what happened to her?" Qaoud asks. "Even a wife can tell her husband 'no.' "

According to court records, Rofayda was raped by her brothers, Fahdi, 22, and Ali, 20, in a bedroom they shared in the family's three-room house. On Nov. 26, 2002, doctors at a nearby hospital who were treating Rofayda for an injured leg discovered she was eight months pregnant.

Palestinian authorities whisked her off to a women's shelter in Bethlehem, where she gave birth to a healthy boy on Dec. 23. He has since been adopted by another Palestinian family, court records show.

Rofayda, meanwhile, wanted to return to her parents in the Ramallah suburb of Abu Qash. Ramallah Gov. Mustafa Isa called a meeting with the family and village elders, demanding they pledge in writing not to harm the girl. "He asked me if everyone in the family and the village would promise not to bother this girl, but I told him I couldn't give him a guarantee," Abu Qash Mayor Faik Shalout says.

Rofayda returned home in late January without notifying the authorities.

The shame was unbearable, Qaoud said. Relatives and friends refused to speak to her family. Her elder daughters' husbands wouldn't allow them to visit because Rofayda had returned home.

On Jan. 27, Rofayda sent word that she was in danger to crisis counselors at Abu-Dayyeh's center in East Jerusalem. They, in turn, called Palestinian police in Ramallah, who have jurisdiction over Abu Qash. The police said they couldn't get to the Qaoud home because of Israeli checkpoints.

Qaoud, meanwhile, sent her husband, who suffers from heart disease, to a doctor in the nearby village of Bir Zeit. Her three youngest children went to a cousin's house.

At 11:30 p.m. she killed Rofayda, court records show. Tarifi says he's convinced Qaoud had an accomplice, but Qaoud insists she acted alone.

Qaoud turned herself in and, after four months in jail, was released pending the resolution of her case.

While honor killings committed in the heat of the moment — for example, by a husband who catches his wife in bed with another man — generally carry a six-month to one-year jail term, Qaoud will likely be sentenced to three to five years in prison, Tarifi says. The fact that she is a mother who was trying to protect her family's honor mitigates the crime of premeditated murder, which is punishable by death under Palestinian law, he adds.

The brothers are serving minimum 10-year sentences in a Palestinian jail in the West Bank city of Jericho for statutory rape of a relative, Tarifi says.

No trace of Rofayda or her brothers remains in the family home. Qauod says she ripped up all of their photographs and burned their clothes. The bedroom in which she killed her daughter is now a storeroom.

Erasing the memories is harder, she admits. She eases her pain by doting on her three children still living at home, especially the youngest, Fatima, 9, whom she lavishes with kisses. The children say they've forgiven Qaoud and return her affection.

"My mother did this because she does not want us to be punished by people," Fatima explains with a shy smile. Leaning into Qaoud's arms, the little girl adds: "I love my mother much more now than before."


TOPICS: Culture/Society
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1 posted on 11/17/2003 7:43:32 AM PST by Lijahsbubbe
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To: Lijahsbubbe
Not a cult. Nope.
2 posted on 11/17/2003 7:46:26 AM PST by AppyPappy (Pittsburgh beat Virginia Tech 31-28. Panthers rule!!".)
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To: Lijahsbubbe
Very interesting story.
3 posted on 11/17/2003 7:46:30 AM PST by Lijahsbubbe (Today we did what we had to do. They counted on America to be passive. They counted wrong. -R.R.)
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To: Lijahsbubbe
"Why did she accept what happened to her?" Qaoud asks. "Even a wife can tell her husband 'no.' "

Tell that to Juanita.

4 posted on 11/17/2003 7:51:06 AM PST by grobdriver
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To: Lijahsbubbe
What a nice culture.
5 posted on 11/17/2003 7:51:15 AM PST by blastdad51 (Proud father of an Enduring Freedom vet, and friend of a soldier lost in Afghanistan)
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To: AppyPappy
Note the blame Israel points:

Poverty and war have exacerbated the problem, says Nadera Shalhoub-Kevorkian, a social work and criminology professor at Hebrew University in Jerusalem and an expert on violence against women.

"Men do not have any power except over women," she says.

The police said they couldn't get to the Qaoud home because of Israeli checkpoints.

6 posted on 11/17/2003 7:51:24 AM PST by Lijahsbubbe (Today we did what we had to do. They counted on America to be passive. They counted wrong. -R.R.)
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To: Lijahsbubbe
Raped by her brothers ... and she's the one who has to die!

Of course, with her dead, there's no one to testify against the brothers, so they're sprung.

So much for Moslem family values.

7 posted on 11/17/2003 7:53:56 AM PST by DonQ
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To: Lijahsbubbe
The sins and crimes of the mother bring more worst shame and dishonor to the palestinians than any sins of the brothers. That poor girl ...
8 posted on 11/17/2003 7:55:59 AM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: DonQ
So much for Moslem family values.

Palestinian family values center on their own children and Jews. They cannot be trusted with self rule and no one wants to rule them because they are so evil.

9 posted on 11/17/2003 7:57:37 AM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: blastdad51
The details of how she murdered her daughter are horrid. How could a mother do this?

According to this article, this is happening almost weekly to Palestinian women, where is Koffi, where were Rachel Corrie and the human shields for Yasser. Why did they not surround this woman to protect her?

How can these people cry and scream and flail when terrorists are killed by the IDF, when they murder their own daughters, and send their sons off to blow themselves up?

10 posted on 11/17/2003 7:57:59 AM PST by Lijahsbubbe (Today we did what we had to do. They counted on America to be passive. They counted wrong. -R.R.)
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To: af_vet_1981
My mother did this because she does not want us to be punished by people,"

"I'll kill you so you don't get punished, dear......."

Is it any wonder they're warped? This little girl is an up and coming suicide bomber.

11 posted on 11/17/2003 8:01:11 AM PST by Lijahsbubbe (Today we did what we had to do. They counted on America to be passive. They counted wrong. -R.R.)
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To: Lijahsbubbe
Arab culture bump.
12 posted on 11/17/2003 8:02:08 AM PST by pabianice
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To: Lijahsbubbe
Another victim of the religion of peace.
13 posted on 11/17/2003 8:02:55 AM PST by CedarDave (The enviro's are are just as angry about the CA fires as we are -- a lot of pine beetles were lost)
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To: af_vet_1981
Rape victims must be executed, while mass murderers of Jews are treated as heroes.

These savages are just so deserving of their own state.

14 posted on 11/17/2003 8:04:51 AM PST by Alouette (My son, the Learned Elder of Zion)
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To: Lijahsbubbe
Is there a category in the competition for a collective Darwin Award?
15 posted on 11/17/2003 8:09:28 AM PST by Tacis
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To: Alouette
They are a harsh and forbidding landscape, filled with scorpions, carrion, and a few brief blooming flowers.
16 posted on 11/17/2003 8:10:45 AM PST by af_vet_1981
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To: Tacis
I think they would better fit into a category of evil.
17 posted on 11/17/2003 8:10:54 AM PST by Lijahsbubbe (Today we did what we had to do. They counted on America to be passive. They counted wrong. -R.R.)
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To: Lijahsbubbe
But the number of killings is likely higher, given that Palestinian police investigate only crimes that have been reported, said Yousef Tarifi, the Ramallah prosecutor assigned to Qaoud's case. Shalhoub-Kevorkian says her past research showed the likely number to be 15 times higher than the number of reported cases.

Just unbelievable. These stories keep coming out, and the shock over this behavior never lessens for me. These folks are just plain sick.

18 posted on 11/17/2003 8:12:12 AM PST by TheSpottedOwl (My eyes are blind but I can see....Ozzy)
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To: CedarDave
Islam. Cult of death.
19 posted on 11/17/2003 8:14:52 AM PST by Desron13
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To: Lijahsbubbe
"She did what she believes any good Palestinian parent would"

These people are beyond help. I hate to say it, but, I don't think there will ever be a Palestinian state. You can't expect lunatics to behave rationally.

When a majority of the Pali's place absolutely NO value on human life, not even the lives of their own children, the situation is hopeless. The Israeli's should expel them and be done with it. Let Jordan take them , or some other Arab country, there is zero chance of them living side by side with Israel, in my opinion.

20 posted on 11/17/2003 8:15:16 AM PST by fly_so_free (Never underestimate the treachery of the democratic party. Save the USA vote a dem out of office)
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