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If any friend of mine had a father who hugged and kissed and cuddled my children, well, I would at least end the friendship. Kissing and hugging your own seems fine to me. But grown men don't hug and cuddle and kiss other people's children unless they are either pedophiles or stupid.

I hug, cuddle and kiss my nieces when I see them and they are 15 and 19 now. In fact, they inititiate it usually. I am the father and protector they never had because their own father was an abuser and molester. Only at my house were they ever really safe. I didn't know what was going on for 17 years until my sister-in-law finally tried to commit suicide and we got the truth out of her. I am not sick, perverted or stupid and those girls did need to be hugged and shown that they were loved.

I appreciate what you say. But the children of mollesters have frequently had their boundaries violated and they are very vulnerable. They need very much to be loved but if you are a grown man and they are teenagers I would suggest you respect what may have happened to them and only hug or kiss them in a fatherly way around other people. As to cuddling, that seems to me to be inappropriate even for a father of a teenage girl. Same thing with mothers. I don't think people quite understand the concept of boundaries between adults and children and what happens to people when those boundaries are violated and especially by a trusted person who combines love and sexual excitation in the same act. People who have been mollested have grave difficulties in trusting, have the sense that they haven't been in control of their bodies or feelings and are very easily retraumatized by what seems like ordinary stuff to most of us. I am glad you love your nieces and all I am saying is be respectful of them and careful of yourself.

In fact, they inititiate it usually. I am the father and protector they never had because their own father was an abuser and molester. Only at my house were they ever really safe.

I am treading on thin ice here, but I spent seven years in children's protective services. Where and how do you suppose the kids learned that hugging and kissing men other than their husband is the usual and customary approach to friendship between girls and men?

There is a line, however. And I think we'd need more of a description to determine the appropriateness. "Hug" and "cuddle" are a bit vague. Depends on the type of hug or cuddle, the length, the frequency, the body language, etc.