[July 4th]

Thanks for the list! Now it's easier for me to spot them. :)

[Hawkeye's Girl]

This guy is a dork. Tom Cruise is definately a metrosexual.

And metrosexuals are not what women want. Justin Timberlake is a 13 year old girl's idea of a man :P

[JoJo Gunn]

Jeez, it's the "gravitas" of 2003.

[txzman]

Can I throw up now?

[FreedomPoster]

>>I WAS A WIMP. But I’m metrosexual now.

I got news, bud. You're still a wimp.

[ijcr]

He failed to mention the opening scene in American Psycho, in fact the entire movie sums up meterosexuality.

[Fzob]

How I measure up.

TEN WARDROBE MUST-HAVES

Flattering underwear   (if you call a dozen brief with rips and a few stains flattering I'm in)
Three black T-shirts, three new white T-shirts ( No black T-shirts as for the white one see underwear)
Two different pairs of flattering jeans (See under wear except in denim) 
One dark suit (Yes, I have one)
One leather or suede short coat (not a bomber jacket) ( Nope)
Two rollneck or crewneck cable-knit sweaters (Neck is 19" and red so I wouldn't even consider it)
Two pairs of dark, straightleg, non-pleated trousers (IS green dark, then I'm in)
Three well-cut, solid-colour, button-down shirts (one white) (Yes)
Quality sunglasses (Is $2.50 quality)
One expensive watch, one sportswatch (One sportswatch)

 

THE CONFIDENT METROSEXUAL ALWAYS . . .

Puts others at ease (Not my job)
Takes responsibility for his actions (What does this have to do with being 3/4 queer?)
Is aware of his sexuality (yes, grunt)
Enjoys looking his best  (Enjoys? Yuck, yuck, yuck)
Flirts subtly  ( Does hey honey do you feel like getting lucky this morning qualify)
Accepts flattery (Does this mean I don't gush if some one says something nice. I guess I qualify)
Is open to spontaneity (This can only mean he giggles like a school girl, not me) 
Never loses control   (What does this have to do with being 3/4 queer?)
Tells the truth (What does this have to do with being 3/4 queer?)
Is able to laugh at himself (What does this have to do with being 3/4 queer?)

It not looking good for me. What's a heterosexual going to do in the brave new world of girly men?

 

[RushLake]

........believe patriotism to be dangerous idiocy..........and concludes: Don't be an a$$hole.

Looks like he wants his cake and wants to eat it too. Its the Marie Antoinette thing.

[mewzilla]

I WAS A WIMP. But I’m metrosexual now.

Then you're still a wimp.

[TigersEye]

You might be a metrosexual redneck if:

... you married your cousin before she had a sex change operation.

[Imagine]

I'm in touch with my feminine side, the problem is that I think I'm a lesbian...

[Qwinn]

The Great Gatsby was the most utterly awful book I was ever forced to read. Dear Lord, that was so awful by the time I was done I wanted to rip my eyeballs out so I could never read anything so absolutely insipid again. And I'm someone who loves to read. The fact that they put it at #1 must-read only makes sense though.

By the way, as Fzob put it, a LOT of things in that post have nothing to do with "being 3/4 queer".

For example, I really don't care much about sports. I can get mildly interested in a playoff or World Series that promises to break an 80+ year losing streak, but once both the Red Sox and the Cubs were out of the Series, who cares? I'd rather pop in a good sci-fi DVD than watch an in-season game any day.

Not caring about sports is not "metrosexual". "Geeks" had that one covered for decades before the metros came around. Being a geek is NOT being a metrosexual, in any way, shape or form. A geek is simply more intellectual than physical, but in defending his intellectual positions, this is one geek that can get pretty damn aggressive, and I think that's true of most geeks. We don't lack the aggression gene at all, we just channel that aggression in non-physical ways.

I proudly bear the title "geek", and I laugh at "metrosexuals" as drag queens in denial. Just so we get the masculinity pecking order correct here. Please, do not confuse one for the other on the basis of things like not caring about sports. When I'm not watching sports, I'm watching John Crichton threatening Scarran sovereigns with a nuclear bomb strapped to his chest. To be a geek doesn't mean you necessarily lack physical courage - hell, it more often than not requires truckloads of it.

Qwinn

[jellybean]

I had so scrupulously observed Flocker's rules and admonishments — walking kerb-side of her, following her to the restaurant table, helping her on with her coat, not staring at other women — that she declared herself a convert to Metrosexuality.

THE CONFIDENT METROSEXUAL ALWAYS . . .

Puts others at ease
Takes responsibility for his actions
Is aware of his sexuality
Enjoys looking his best
Flirts subtly
Accepts flattery
Is open to spontaneity
Never loses control
Tells the truth
Is able to laugh at himself

These are the attributes of what was once commonly called a gentleman. Men would do well to learn these few simple rules without adopting the whole Metrosexual mindset.

Women are just naturally attracted to men who observe The Rules of Etiquette, but once they slip over the edge to primping and flamboyancy, they've lost their appeal.

[MarkL]

It's "The Crab People!!!!!" Run!!! They're trying to conquer us!!! Run!

Mark

(If you have to ask, you haven't been watching your South Park!)

[uglybiker]

The Metrosexual Theme Song

DEDICATED FOLLOWER OF FASHION
The Kinks (1965)

They seek him here, they seek him there,
His clothes are loud, but never square.
It will make or break him so he’s got to buy the best,
’cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.

And when he does his little rounds,
’round the boutiques of london town,
Eagerly pursuing all the latest fads and trends,
’cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.

Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
He thinks he is a flower to be looked at,
And when he pulls his frilly nylon panties right up tight,
He feels a dedicated follower of fashion.

Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
There’s one thing that he loves and that is flattery.
One week he’s in polka-dots, the next week he is in stripes.
’cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.

They seek him here, they seek him there,
In regent street and leicester square.
Everywhere the carnabetian army marches on,
Each one an dedicated follower of fashion.

Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
His world is built ’round discoteques and parties.
This pleasure-seeking individual always looks his best
’cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.

Oh yes he is (oh yes he is), oh yes he is (oh yes he is).
He flits from shop to shop just like a butterfly.
In matters of the cloth he is as fickle as can be,
’cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.
He’s a dedicated follower of fashion.
He’s a dedicated follower of fashion.

[King Prout]

Since I have no interest in sport, take no pleasure in getting drunk and believe patriotism to be dangerous idiocy, familiar feelings of alienation from my sex began to crowd in. At such moments of fraternity, men are from Mars and I feel I’m from Pluto.

No, sugar, you're just in the closet.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

TEN WARDROBE MUST-HAVES
Got em.

THE CONFIDENT METROSEXUAL ALWAYS . . .
Yep.

15 BOOKS YOU SHOULD READ
Have read about half of them. Most were no great shakes.

15 ALBUMS YOU SHOULD OWN
I prefer Country and Classical.

15 FILMS YOU SHOULD SEE
Enjoyed Fargo. The rest either I didn’t see, didn’t like or fell asleep during.

Does this make me a metrosexual? Or does being a bambi killing, flag waving, gun toting, church going, bar-b-que eating, right-wing, hockey watching, pro-life, Ann Coulter reading, Toby Keith listening female disqualify me?

[King Prout]

The Man's Guide to Style (King Prout's Press, freebie)

TEN WARDROBE MUST-HAVES*

Boxer-shorts - cotton, white
An indefinite number of well-worn T-shirts
An indefinite number of beat-up blue-jeans
One dark suit - one does attend interviews, weddings, and funerals, after all
One leather bomber or motorcycle jacket
Two or more gray sweatshirts
Two pairs of khaki, straightleg trousers
Three well-cut, white or pinstriped button-down shirts - to go with that dark suit
Expendable sunglasses
One Timex wristwatch
Honest Scars of a hard-lived life
Honest Callouses of hard work - not "hard work-outs"
One functional lighter
One good, well-used, sharp folding knife (pocket or belt)
At least one pistol and appropriate holster

THE CONFIDENT MAN ALWAYS* . . .

Does what he thinks is right, whether that puts others at ease or not
Takes responsibility for his actions
Accepts his sexuality with a largely indifferent attitude
Considers spending effort on "looking his best" for casual encounters to be a trivial and effete affectation
Flirts politely
Accepts earned praise
Makes plans and sticks to them
Never loses control... except when it is time to do so
Tells the truth
Is able to laugh at himself
Is able to laugh at others

15 BOOKS YOU SHOULD* READ

Stalky & Co. - Rudyard Kipling
The Old Man and the Sea — Ernest Hemingway
Enemies Foreign and Domestic - Travis McGee
(a book on the impact of the screw on tech and culture, title and author not remembered - I'll get back to this later)
Structures, or Why Buildings Don't Fall Down - ???
The Book of the New Sun - Gene Wolfe
Sin City: That Yellow Bastard - Frank Miller
The Art of War - Sun Tsu
The Odyssey - Homer
The Glass Key and Red Harvest - Dashiell Hammett
At The Mountains of Madness - HP Lovecraft
Starship Troopers - Robert Heinlein
The Fall of the Roman Empire - Gibbons
The Sum of All Fears - Tom Clancy (NOT the "revised" movie)
The Stand - Steven King

15 ALBUMS YOU SHOULD* OWN

"O Brother, Where Art Thou?" soundtrack — Various
Metallica - Metallica
Led Zeppelin 4 - Led Zeppelin
Moving Pictures - Rush
Best of the Doors - The Doors
Amadeus soundtrack - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
anything by Ray Charles or BB King
anything by Howlin' Wolf or Muddy Waters
anything by Louis Prima
Anything by Jimi Hendrix
In Case You Didn't Feel Like Showing Up Live - Ministry
Best of JS Bach — Johann Sebastian Bach
that new stuff by Evanescence - that lady has cojones
Dirt - Alice in Chains
anything by the Rollins band

15 FILMS YOU SHOULD* SEE

8-1/2 — Federico Fellini
Fargo — The Coen brothers
Eraserhead — David Lynch
Kagemusha - Akira Kurosawa
Rashomon - Akira Kurosawa
A Clockwork Orange — Stanley Kubrick
Seven -
Sixth Sense - Shayamalan(sp?)
Unbreakable - Shayamalan(sp)
Blazing Saddles -
Meaning of Life - Monty Python
Office Space -
Falling Down -
Abbot and Costello meet Dracula (?) -
We were Soldiers -

* of course, men don't pay any heed to advice like this - they don't need outside opinions in order to live their own lives their own ways.

[Pyro7480]

15 ALBUMS YOU SHOULD OWN

...What’s Goin’ On — Marvin Gaye...
...Best of Sade (Remastered) — Sade...
Blue Lines — Massive Attack
Speaking in Tongues — Talking Heads
Best of Bowie — David Bowie
Vertigo — Groove Armada
Parachutes — Coldplay

Anyone who listens to these albums, or trip-pop, light jazz, or anything along these lines is metrosexual?? I think not...

[Looking4Truth]

The guys still a wimp and doesn't even have what it takes to be a 'confident metrosexual' since he feels the need to try and adapt.

When this term first started appearing it angered me because it seems just another attempt by homos to hijack certain traits and 'sexualize' them. Some of the 'metrosexual traits' are simply the traits of having a little class or upscale taste. Just cause I can cook good or like a nice restaurant doesn't make me 'metrosexual'. I still like to camp out, shoot, work on things, etc. but the 'metrosexual' wouldn't want to get his little hands dirty.

Just Barf!