Posted on 11/27/2003 1:52:42 AM PST by ijcr
The enduring myth of the haggis still contributes to the Scottish travel trade, according to a poll yesterday that suggested a third of US visitors believe the delicacy to be an animal.
As government statisticians reported the number of North Americans visiting Scotland fell from 606,000 in 1998 to 504,000 last year, the haggis manufacturers Hall's of Broxburn revealed evidence of the misconceptions from an online survey.
The poll of 1,000 US visitors to Scotland found 33% thought haggis was an animal; 23% said they came to Scotland believing they could catch one.
The company said it had interviewed one tourist who thought the haggis was "a wild beast of the Highlands, no bigger than a grouse, which only came out at night". Another claimed it sometimes ventured into the cities, like a fox.
Haggis is traditionally made out of a sheep's stomach filled with liver, heart lung, oatmeal, suet, stock, onions and spices.
Despite the pull of the haggis, the number of foreigners visiting Scotland declined last year, while visits to the UK as a whole increased by more than 1.3m.
Hunting the haggis is no easy matter. Before you have even ventured out on hills armed with your meuran (the standard tool of the haggis hunter) there are myriad traditions to be observed.
Central to the art is stealth. Like the deer stalker, the haggis hunter must be silent, invisible and without odour. Fortunately, while the haggis has incredibly acute senses, these function over a very narrow range. Thus the haggis hunter has to be only a bit silent, a bit invisible and a little without odour.
The haggis can hear only certain high pitched sounds with any clarity. By whacking turnips with a mallet next to a haggis warren, or fobhrÃste, the prominent cryptobiologist Ima Maidep-Nayim has proved that the animal does not react to low thudding sounds. However, even a light rustling can make these delicate creatures bolt.
By perverse coincidence, the sound the haggis is most sensitive to is that of plaid rubbing on underpants. No-one knows why this should be, perhaps this almost undetectable noise mimics exactly the sound of a golden eagle plummeting towards its target. Whatever the reason, the aim of a haggis hunter who sports underwear will never be true. Hence, the tradition that "true Scots" wear nothing under their kilt.
As far as masking the hunter's smell is concerned, there is only one substance that can hide the multifarious odours of a haggiser: whisky. Preferable, the hunter should be absolutely drenched in the stuff to mask any scent. Many's the ignorant laird who has given his gamekeeper a tongue-lashing for smelling of alcohol and then had to issue a cringeing apology after learning this bit of haggis lore.
Finally, the haggis hunter must make himself invisible to his prey. Much like the Tyrannosaurus Rex, a creature to which it is not often compared, the haggis has eyes that react most effectively to movement, but only movement in a straight line. In order to creep up on their prey, haggis hunters must disguise their approach by adopting a shambling, apparently random gait. This is known as havering.
Thus, if you encounter a Scot stinking of whisky, shuffling down the street in an ungainly fashion with their kilt flapping round their bare backside you know they are only hunting the haggis. To show that you are au fait with "the hunt", approach him (or her) and say in a loud voice: "Ach, your havering". A lively discussion should ensue.
The only time to enjoy haggis is after enjoying a liter of Glenfiddich.
LOL...they served haggis at breakfast at the B&B my husband and I stayed in in Edinburgh on our honeymoon. I knew what haggis was and steered well clear of it, but a couple of other American tourists mistook it for sausage patties. However, upon being told that it was haggis, they understood that it was a sheep stomach stuffed with offal. They KNOW.
I love telling people what makes black pudding black. The look of abject horror is priceless. :-) Ever read the ingredients in black pudding?
Dried BLOOD and PORK FAT.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Might as well eat a jam rag wrapped in bacon. Sick.
It's FOUL.
Can't say I've ever tasted those. :-)
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