[MS.BEHAVIN]

"How to set up a Christmas Tree"

Go down in the basement and find all the Christmas stuff among the cobwebs on the shelves.

Breathe deeply, and blow off all the dust.

Pick up boxes you dropped during sneezing fit.

Untangle all the knotted up lights and wind around tree.

Unwind all the lights and find the one that doesn't work.
Pour yourself a glass of scotch when you return from the store with replacement bulbs.

Rewind lights around the tree, after untangling the cat from them.

Place Christmas balls on tree.

Put glass of scotch on hold while you go back to the store for "hooks" for Christmas balls.

Pick up tree off the floor because the kitty knocked it down while you were at the store.

Have another scotch.

Add tinsel and or garland..pick up the "whoops" on the floor that kitty threw up from eating tinsel.

Try to find the star that fell off the top and is hidden somewhere among the branches.

Plug in tree and...see the lights not working..still.

Have another scotch.

Push in on all the bulbs individably, to shee if that might work..

Plug in the lites..that jush might werk..it did!

Ms.B

[hoosiermama]

I have a friend who covers her tree with a white sheet and stores it in the corner of her basement. She hangs a sign on it that reads: "THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST". In the middle of the summer she flips the sign over to read: "THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS YET TO COME"!