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The Jesus thing
wnd ^ | January 07, 2004 | Ann Coulter

Posted on 01/07/2004 4:18:10 PM PST by perfect stranger

When they were fund-raising, the Democratic candidates for president all claimed to be Jewish. Now that they are headed for Super Tuesday down South, they've become Jesus freaks. Listening to Democrats talk about Jesus is a little like listening to them on national security: They don't seem terribly comfortable with either subject.

To ease Democrats into the Jesus thing, the Democratic Leadership Council is holding briefings for Democratic candidates teaching them how to talk about religion. The participants were warned that millions of Americans worship a supreme being whose name is not Bill Clinton. As has been widely reported, the DLC gingerly suggests that Democrats start referring to "God's green earth."

Democrats never talk about believing in something; they talk about simulating belief in something. Americans believe in this crazy God crap that we don't, so how do we hoodwink them into believing we believe in God? It's part of the casual contempt Democrats have for the views of normal people.

What is arresting is the Democrats' fantastic habit of openly talking about how they plan to fake out the American people. The Democrats candidly say: How do we make sure the Americans don't know what we're really thinking? Let's get a Southerner, let's talk about Jesus, let's talk about NASCAR – white Southern guys seem to like that. Let's see ... If we could get a general on the ticket, Americans will forget how much we hate the military and long to see America humiliated.

Never has a major political party talked so openly about their plans to fool the voters. It's the damnedest thing I've ever seen. They seem not to realize the people they are talking about are listening and might not be fooled.

In the current New Republic magazine, Peter Beinart points out that the capture of Saddam has hurt the anti-war cause and left the Democrats with nothing to say. He proposes that Democrats pretend to support the war on terrorism by calling for a massive campaign to catch Osama. Yeah, let's try that. That'll fool 'em.

In the debate this week, John Kerry responded to a question about how he would appeal to Southerners by saying he could put a Southerner on his ticket. As Howard Dean has explained, they're stupid enough: It's just a bunch of white guys in pickup trucks with Confederate flags.

Dean himself has recently made the fascinating discovery that a lot of Americans believe in God. Hold the phones – the Democrats have a soothsayer in their midst! Next, Dean will be announcing that he's just discovered how important this sex thing is.

Before the poll numbers came out on religious belief in America, Dean said: "We have got to stop having our elections in the South based on race, guns, God and gays." Higher taxes, gay marriage, abortion on demand and surrender in Iraq – that'll do the trick in Mississippi!

Then about a month ago, the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press released a poll showing that people who regularly attend religious services supported Bush 63 percent to 37 percent, and those who never attend religious services opposed him 62 percent to 38 percent. When you exclude blacks (as they do in Vermont), who are overwhelmingly Baptist and overwhelmingly Democratic, and rerun the numbers, basically any white person who believes in God is a Republican.

The only Democrats who go to church regularly are the ones who plan to run for president someday and are preparing in advance to fake a belief in God.

Though Dean is pursuing the Jesus thing with a vengeance, the results so far have been mixed. In Iowa last week, Dean said, "Let's get into a little religion here," and then began denouncing Christian minister Jerry Falwell. "Don't you think Jerry Falwell reminds you a lot more of the Pharisees than he does of the teachings of Jesus?" I don't even know what Dean means by that. I am sure his audience doesn't.

Rapping with reporters about God on the campaign plane, Dean said, "[I]f you know much about the Bible, which I do" – and then proceeded to confuse the Old Testament with the New Testament.

Dean illiterately claimed his favorite book of the New Testament was the Book of Job. (He said his least favorite was the Book of Numbers and then explained how he planned to balance the budget.) Having already complained to DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe about other Democrats attacking him, Dean recently said: "I'm feeling a little more Job-like recently." That's comforting. A few snippy remarks from the likes of Dick Gephardt and Dean thinks it's the wrath of the God of Abraham. Yeah, that's definitely the guy we want leading the nation in perilous times.

Dean's epiphanic religious awakening occurred over a bike path – and that's his version of what happened. He was baptized Catholic and raised an Episcopalian, but left the Episcopal Church in a huff when he finally found his true religion: environmentally friendly exercise.

The Episcopalians don't demand much in the way of actual religious belief. They have girl priests, gay priests, gay bishops, gay marriages – it's much like the New York Times editorial board. They acknowledge the Ten Commandments – or "Moses' talking points" – but hasten to add that they're not exactly "carved in stone." After Bush said that the most important philosopher to him was Jesus Christ, the Episcopal bishop in Des Moines, Iowa, C. Christopher Epting, pronounced the answer "a turnoff." So there isn't a lot of hair-shirt-wearing and sacrifice for the Episcopalians.

But the bike path incident was too much for Dean. A key tenet of the Druidical religion of liberals is non-fossil-fuel travel. So Dean left the Church of the Proper Fork because the Episcopal Church in Montpelier hesitated before ceding some of its land for a bike path.

On CNN, Judy Woodruff asked in amazement, "Was it just over a bike path that you left the Episcopal Church?"

Dean: "Yes, as a matter of fact it was."

Dean waxed expansive on the theological implications of bike paths, saying: "I didn't think that was very public-spirited."

But recently, Dean has leapt even beyond the DLC-recommended "God's green earth" and begun talking about Jesus, saying, "He was a person who set an extraordinary example that has lasted 2,000 years, which is pretty inspiring when you think about it." Gosh, Jesus is giving Oprah a run for her money. Also, Christ died for our sins, but let's not get into the hocus-pocus part of Christianity. The gist of the New Testament is about bike paths.

Dean's relationship with Jesus is a little like David Lloyd George's relationship with the Slovaks. At the Treaty of Versailles conference, the British prime minister was heard to whisper: "Who are the Slovaks again? I can never place them."


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism
KEYWORDS: 2004; anncoulter; dean; deanschristianity

1 posted on 01/07/2004 4:18:11 PM PST by perfect stranger
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To: All
Rank Location Receipts Donors/Avg Freepers/Avg Monthlies
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19

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2 posted on 01/07/2004 4:19:23 PM PST by Support Free Republic (Your support keeps Free Republic going strong!)
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To: Support Free Republic
"Before the poll numbers came out on religious belief in America, Dean said: "We have got to stop having our elections in the South based on race, guns, God and gays." Higher taxes, gay marriage, abortion on demand and surrender in Iraq – that'll do the trick in Mississippi!

LOL. She is great. A lady Mencken with class!

3 posted on 01/07/2004 4:23:34 PM PST by shrinkermd (i)
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To: perfect stranger
AWESOME. Coulter treads into Mark Steyn territory with this one.
4 posted on 01/07/2004 4:26:21 PM PST by nwrep
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To: perfect stranger
The Episcopalians don't demand much in the way of actual religious belief. They have girl priests, gay priests, gay bishops, gay marriages – it's much like the New York Times editorial board. They acknowledge the Ten Commandments – or "Moses' talking points" – but hasten to add that they're not exactly "carved in stone."

Oh, man!!
Nobody writes better political commentary than Ann Coulter.

BUMP for another masterpiece from Ann.

5 posted on 01/07/2004 4:29:22 PM PST by Lancey Howard
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To: ahadams2
Church of the Proper Fork Ping for Mr. Adams
6 posted on 01/07/2004 4:29:30 PM PST by newheart (Ezekiel 36:26)
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To: perfect stranger

7 posted on 01/07/2004 4:33:42 PM PST by Lancey Howard
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To: perfect stranger
What is arresting is the Democrats' fantastic habit of openly talking about how they plan to fake out the American people. . . .

Never has a major political party talked so openly about their plans to fool the voters. It's the damnedest thing I've ever seen. They seem not to realize the people they are talking about are listening and might not be fooled.

This article is wonderful and so full of zingers that I can't even pick my favorite one.

But the reason the Dems are able to get away with the above is that most people aren't listening. The Dem strategists are talking to the Dem politicos here, a tiny fraction of the voting mass. The voters will get the drift of the message eventually, in an easily digested sound bite, and will never get to the level of information that allows them to view the blatant deception being promoted in public.

8 posted on 01/07/2004 4:36:05 PM PST by firebrand
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To: Lancey Howard
I can't believe she doesn't have her own 1 hr. show on FOX. I think Gretta could make some room.
9 posted on 01/07/2004 4:38:44 PM PST by chuckles
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To: nwrep; shrinkermd
"Coulter treads into Mark Steyn territory"

Now that I finally get a chance to read it (somewhere between posting and then afetrwards, reading it my machine froze. Then I had a little fight with the cable-modem. That took about 8-9 minutes.), I agree.

I never thought about a Mencken quality when reading her stuff before, but I certainly see your point.

I prefer FR's formatting so I tend to post the article and then read it.

10 posted on 01/07/2004 4:43:16 PM PST by perfect stranger (No tag line text found. ERROR 7c240000-10e36. This application will be terminated.)
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To: perfect stranger
God, I love this woman to death.
11 posted on 01/07/2004 4:43:25 PM PST by Viking2002
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To: newheart
LOL! hmm, now if we could just get her to include some pro-conservative-Anglican comments it'd be perfect!
12 posted on 01/07/2004 5:06:03 PM PST by ahadams2 (Anglican Freeper Resource Page: http://eala.freeservers.com/anglican/)
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To: ahadams2
Are there such things ... pro-conservative-Anglican-comments? Is there such a gum as Tutti-Fruiti? [Time of Our Lives]
13 posted on 01/07/2004 5:20:30 PM PST by MHGinTN (If you can read this, you've had life support from someone. Promote life support for others.)
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To: nwrep
Dean illiterately claimed his favorite book of the New Testament was the Book of Job. (He said his least favorite was the Book of Numbers and then explained how he planned to balance the budget.)

Most Steyn-like, if only she'd left out the redundant adverb.

14 posted on 01/07/2004 6:02:56 PM PST by Tax-chick (I reserve the right to disclaim all January 2004 posts after the BABY is born!)
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To: perfect stranger


Ann Coulter bump!
15 posted on 01/07/2004 6:06:50 PM PST by Rummyfan
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To: perfect stranger
What is arresting is the Democrats' fantastic habit of openly talking about how they plan to fake out the American people.

It is amazing. Of course the media is a full partner in the plan. We'll see Howard Dean (or Wesley Clark, who is allegedly coming on fast) at a lot of churches in the next year.

16 posted on 01/07/2004 6:06:55 PM PST by freedomcrusader
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To: perfect stranger


What the heck.... one more!
17 posted on 01/07/2004 6:08:25 PM PST by Rummyfan
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To: perfect stranger
When you exclude blacks (as they do in Vermont), who are overwhelmingly Baptist and overwhelmingly Democratic, and rerun the numbers, basically any white person who believes in God is a Republican.

Ain't it the truth!!!
18 posted on 01/07/2004 6:12:04 PM PST by Rummyfan
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To: perfect stranger
I prefer FR's formatting so I tend to post the article and then read it.

Me too! It looks like on line newspapers would get a clue from F.R. on formatting.

19 posted on 01/07/2004 6:12:06 PM PST by Holly_P
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To: Rummyfan
She's smart and she's gorgeous...one more reason to be a Conservative!

Especially when the best the DemocRATS can muster is Babs and Hitlary.
20 posted on 01/07/2004 6:12:21 PM PST by JRios1968 (Defending Freedom!)
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To: Rummyfan
When you exclude blacks (as they do in Vermont), who are overwhelmingly Baptist and overwhelmingly Democratic, and rerun the numbers, basically any white person who believes in God is a Republican.

Ain't it the truth!!!

Except for Jews.

21 posted on 01/07/2004 6:15:53 PM PST by Hon
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To: perfect stranger
One of Ann's best. She should have plenty to work with this election year!
22 posted on 01/07/2004 6:17:21 PM PST by Rummyfan
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To: perfect stranger
Absolutely great - and damning article! Another tour de Ann!
23 posted on 01/07/2004 7:07:07 PM PST by txzman (Jer 23:29)
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To: perfect stranger; All

BTT

GO ANN GO!!!

24 posted on 01/08/2004 4:13:34 AM PST by cpforlife.org (The Missing Key of the Pro-Life Movement is at www.CpForLife.org)
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To: perfect stranger
WWJVF? apparently He has made up His mind with the world events going in w's favor nearly every time, war in iraq, economy on the mend, dean in the lead...

interesting times indeed
25 posted on 01/08/2004 5:31:48 AM PST by teeman8r (ann coulter is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....)
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To: perfect stranger; Pokey78
Bump for Ann!
26 posted on 01/08/2004 12:59:33 PM PST by cgk (Kraut, 1989: We must brace ourselves for disquisitions on peer pressure, adolescent anomie & rage.)
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To: perfect stranger
Never has a major political party talked so openly about their plans to fool the voters. It's the damnedest thing I've ever seen. They seem not to realize the people they are talking about are listening and might not be fooled.

They are doing it because they still don't understand that their domination of "major" media's information control system has been shattered.

27 posted on 01/09/2004 4:01:47 AM PST by Jim Noble
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To: perfect stranger
To most Liberals, "Jesus" is just another four letter word!
28 posted on 01/09/2004 10:56:52 AM PST by Gritty
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