Every directly willed abortion is sinful, no exceptions. What you present here could be a case for the principle of double effect. The intent of the doctor & mother would be to rid the mother of the disease which will surely end her life AND, as a consequence, the unborn child may die. The direct act must be morally good, or at least, morally neutral, which it is in this case.
The purpose of the use of the condom here is to prevent exposure to death, just as the purpose of removing a diseased uterus is to save the woman's life. The loss of the fetus, and contraception, are secondary effects.
The statement you make is false. The use of a condom is morally evil. The operation to remove a diseased uterus is morally good. The distinctions you are attempting to make are not related at all.
So, in essence, the woman, whose husband insists on exposing her to the same sentence of death he is under, is just out of luck. Grin and bear it. Is it the will of God that this woman die, if that can be prevented, especially if she has other children?
Neither you nor I know precisely what the will of God is in this situation. However, we do know, for certain, some things, namely:
Every marital act must be open to life. The use of a condom is morally wrong.
As I said before, there are two options of which I am aware - abstinence or suffering the possibility that one may acquire AIDS after engaging in the marital act. One's age may determine which path to follow.
And one must remember that one may never do evil in order to bring about a good.
Do not take this as a criticism for I do not mean it as such,but I would also suggest that you study your moral theology a bit. It may help clarify the issues without having to rely on those clerics who are confused.
Objectively, yes. The woman is also being forced to perform an action under duress.
Forcing what is essentially a rapist to use a condom is not subjectively evil, in this case. No person is required to participate in his own death. Self-defense, IOW.
This seems like a no-brainer to me.