[tractorman]

Let’s play “How to defend your family”

Man “A” breaks into man “B”’s house and threatens to kill everyone.
You are man “B” and get to choose from the following list of defensive options.
Be careful not to pick the illegal one.

1. Throw your mug of hot coffee in his face.
2. Pull the rug out from under him.
3. Shoot him with a shotgun
4. Hand him a pair of scissors and tell him to run
5. Tell him his shoe’s untied and kick him in the groin
6. Play the Barney song until he collapses
7. Yell “Allah Akbar”
8. Play dead
9. Call 911
10. Shoot him with a handgun

[Blue Scourge]

11. Beat him to death with a baseball bat.
12. Turn into Macguyver and grab "bubble gum, tooth picks, and fishing wire" and make a homemade grenade launcher.
13. Send him to seminar being hosted by Al Gore and watch him be bored to death.
14. Shoot him with your AR-15

[eyespysomething]

3, if not 3 then 10


of course, 6 really doesn't take long either, and sometimes I think its more painful

[two23]

11. Cha-chunk--Meet Mr Mossberg

[Modernman]

4. Hand him a pair of scissors and tell him to run

LOL.

[longtermmemmory]

8. is the only legal one (pursuant to leftist wacko handbook of survival) due to the fact that it is the most passive and submissive to the assailant who has been forced into a life of crime by an indifferent society that allowed President Bush to starve children.