Posted on 01/28/2004 11:34:37 AM PST by TheBigB
You could go to a any Southern community and find a Lulu Roman, a Junior Samples, a Grand Pa Jones, the cute girls but not as much musical talent. As a kid removed from my native South those people were so believable to me.
breaded catfish
breaded fries
cheese grits
bread pudding and ice cream
Two Yankees were driving through Dixie on their way to spring break. While speeding through a small southern town, a local sheriff's deputy pulls them over. The officer walks up to the car, taps on the closed window with the butt of his flashlight, and waits.
When the driver finally gets around to rolling down the window, the officer smiles, politely asks for the driver's license and registration, checks for outstanding warrants, and finding none, proceeds to write the ticket. The driver mumbles and snatches the ticket out of the officer's hand.
Still smiling, the officer reaches in with his flashlight, and pops the driver on the side of the head.
"Hey, what the heck did you do that for?" exclaims the driver.
"Son, I notice by your license plate that you're a Yankee. This here is the South. When you get pulled over, you have your window rolled down waiting for me. When I talk to you, you address me as "Sir". When I write you a ticket, you smile and say "thank you, Sir". And if there's a reason to speak, there's reason to speak clearly and loud enough I can hear you. Now you go on and have yourself a nice day, ya hear?"
"Yes"
"Beg your pardon?"
"Yes, Sir."
"Much better."
Still smiling, the officer walks around the car to the passenger side. Tapping on the window, he motions for the passenger to roll it down. When the window is down, the officer reaches in with his flashlight and hits the passenger upside the head.
"Hey! What was that!?! I never said nothing!"
The officer replies "I'm just making wishes come true, son."
"Wishes come true? What are you talking about?"
"Well, son, I know that as soon as I leave here and you're back on the road, you're going to turn to your buddy here and say "damn, I wish he'd tried that flashlight crap with me!", so I'm just helping you out. Y'all have a nice day now."
Seems appropriate given the "jackass" comment, no? :-)
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