Stalin's last army - hordes of gigantic crabs on their way to invade Europe -

The Telegraph - UK ^ | February 28, 2004 | Julius Strauss

[TheSpottedOwl]

Government, enviromentalists, same mindset. If it isn't fixed, break it!

Judging by the description of those crabs, I could see an enterprising businessman come up with a net that the crabs couldn't snip their way out of. But no, all that will be left are the crabs after all the native species have been eaten. Then the crabs will leave for better feeding grounds. Everyone will wring their hands and wonder what happened.

My solution would be to not only harvest the crabs to save the native marine life, but to breed the crabs in an enviroment that would protect the native species, but become an economic boon. Heck everyone reading this article is dreaming of lemons and drawn butter. Think of the money that could be made if they'd only pull their heads out of their rear ends. Mmmm, crab cakes!

[lepton]

At present, some Norwegian fishermen have been granted seasonal licences to catch the Kamchatka crab but stiff regulations on the size of the boat used and other criteria mean they are few in number.

What a way to deal with an overpopulation of food.

[avg_freeper]

OUR BUTTER IS USELESS AGAINST THEM!!!!!

[Elliott Jackalope]

Aw heck, you beat me to it.

"Help me! Help me! I'm over here. In the dark, where you cant see me. Help me! Just a little closer....."

[Rifleman]

Put adds in the local papers along the Louisiana coast. Norway will have a sudden influx of Cajuns lugging large stainless steel pots and their lugage packed with spices. Problem solved.



Of course they would need to hide all the Norwegian women, or the plague of crabs would soon be replaced by a plague of coonasses.

[StriperSniper]

[FreedomCalls]

These "giant" crabs aren't perhaps coming from the Chernobyl area are they?

[Ursus arctos horribilis]

Damn, and no problemo. I know of some king crabbers out on the AK Aleut chain that will be headed east shortly.

[Ursus arctos horribilis]

Don't get it, they want to get rid of the crab, but have stiff regs on the taking of it. oh well, it is EU, and there opposite alternatives speak for themselves in the land of OZ.

[libstripper]

At present, some Norwegian fishermen have been granted seasonal licences to catch the Kamchatka crab but stiff regulations on the size of the boat used and other criteria mean they are few in number."

An example of the true brilliance of socialism at work. They're so wound up in their own regulations and greenie concerns that they can't see a fortune on their doorsteps. All they would need to do would be allow unlimited fishing of the crabs until the crab population becomes more sustainable and everybody would win.

[Michael81Dus]

Sorry, Norway IS NOT a member of the European Union.

Anyway, I find it fascinating to see that Americans are willing to fight Europes enemies - by eating them! :)

[Dane]

Seems that the Norwegians prefer the vile lutefisk. Sheesh get tons of boats and harvest those crabs. I have the clarified butter ready.

Love it or loathe it, lutefisk still a popular holiday meal

[null and void]

Crab legs, yes. Møøse Limbs, no...

[Calvin Locke]

Global Warming? Global Cooling?

No! No! No!

Haven't you ever seen the original Godzilla?

French nuke testing in the Pacific gave birth to the big lizard guy.

In that part of the world, Russian/Soviet nuclear subs were deep sixed, both intentionally and unintentionally.

Either that, or it's the Earth venting radon around that area.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Anyway, I find it fascinating to see that Americans are willing to fight Europes enemies - by eating them! :)

Always happy to help.

I got the old bay, drawn butter, lemon wedges and a hammer.

Charge!

[Mentos]

[TheSpottedOwl]

Lol! Imagine 20 years later, a new generation speaking Creole with a Norwegian accent.

This whole post is making me extremely hungry...

[Viking2002]

Mmmmm......crab bisque......Old Bay crab cakes.......crab soup........Portabella caps stuffed with Crab Imperial........crab rolls........scrambled eggs with crab meat......crab salad........HEY, I'M FROM MARYLAND, OK?!? LOL :-)

[Yardstick]

The solution: Crab McNuggets.

[Lady Jag]

We'd better review the rules:

Horror Movie Survival Guide

• When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.

• If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices in your house move away immediately.

• Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

• Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

• If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

• When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go it alone.

• As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

• Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.

• If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.

• If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

• Do not take anything from the dead.

• If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.

• Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.

• If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

• If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.

• Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

• Never, ever, ever turn off the paved road onto a gravel or dirt road.

• Always make sure that your car has a fresh battery so it will start immediately in times of crisis.

• If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.

• Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.

• Do not keep all your sharpened kitchen knives in one of those wooden block thingies on your worksurface.

• When you're searching a house because you think there's something dangerous there, for goodness sake turn the bloody lights on!

• Never back out of one room into another without looking. It's always behind you.

• If anything other than water (blood, thick goo of any color) comes out of a faucet, do not call a plumber. Leave the house immediately.

• If, looking in a mirror, you see a figure behind you that you don't see upon turning around, you see a different room than the one you are in, you see a figure other than yourself looking back, or your reflection tells you to get out before it is too late, proceed to the nearest exit with all speed.

• If you open a door and the room you see is not the room that should be there, do not explore it. In fact, even if you close the door and see the correct room after re-opening it, vacate the house.

• Never say that you'll be right back because you won't.

• Listen closely to the soundtrack; and pay attention to the audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.

• And finally, never drink, do drugs, or have sex. Because only virgins survive in the end.