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Dilemma at San Francisco City Hall Marriage License Office
Political Correctness and a Discrimination-free Society for All!!
(A possible future scene at City Hall in San Francisco)
"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."
"Tim and Jim Jones."
"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."
"Yes, we're brothers."
"Brothers? You can't get married."
"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest? No, we are not gay."
"Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other.
Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same opportunity to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."
"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"
"All right, all right. I'll give you your license.
"Hi. We are here to get married."
"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."
"Who wants to marry whom?"
"We all want to marry each other."
"But there are four of you!"
"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me.
All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."
"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."
"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"
"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."
"Since when are you standing on tradition?"
"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."
"Who says? You didn't draw the line at tradition marriage.
There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples only.
The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"
"All right, all right, here's your license."
"Hello, I would like to marry my dog"
"What!! Marry your dog --are your crazy?"
"How dare you insult me and my dog."
"But, you cannot marry your dog!"
"Who says so? I want my consitutional rights. You marry everyone else so you must marry me and Fido. I'll sue you if you deny me my rights."
"All Right, All Right here's your license"
"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."
"In what names?"
"And the other man?"
"That's all. I want to marry myself."
"Marry yourself? What do you mean?"
"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return. I have constitutional rights!!"
Think about it................
posted on 03/13/2004 7:40:21 PM PST
(If you want OFF or ON my Ping list, please email me.)
Lets see if the comic will display
posted on 03/13/2004 7:51:21 PM PST
(I am the one true Sociotard)
That sounds so much like a Monty Python sketch, I thought it was from a lost episode or something!
posted on 03/13/2004 8:59:00 PM PST
(The Great Experiment is over.)
Narses, I think that you are more right that any of us want to admit.
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