[A Jovial Cad]

Reading this gentleman's bilge reminds me of Groucho Marx's famous question to the musician/singer (I can't remember which): "how much do they pay you not to play/sing?"

[PMCarey]

That's from "Duck Soup". The full exchange is:

Groucho: What do you get an hour?

Chico: For playing, we get-a ten dollars an hour.

Groucho: I see. What do you get for not playing?

Chico: Twelve dollars an hour. Now for rehearsing we make special rates. That's-a fifteen dollars an hour.

Groucho: And what do you get for not rehearsing?

Chico: You couldn't afford it. You see, if we don't rehearse, and if we don't-a play, that runs into money.