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I'm not expressing myself properly, but I sure as hell would rather our enemies fear us than like us.

That they fear us and act accordingly is something that can, indeed, be controlled by our own behavior; however, trying to get them to like us is something that will be forever controlled by them. The little kid who desires with all his heart to be part of the gang will be the one who is always being taken advantage of by the rest of the gang. Better he should learn how to tell the gang to pound sand and get on with his life.

Absolutely!

Past a certain point, a US "charm offensive," and asking "pretty please, don't hate us," will give the other side huge power over us. That's ridiculous.

Diplomacy has a role, but we need to remember that we're dealing with a violent and dangerous world.