Forget Iraq; find a way to ease gas price crunch (Idiot Extraordinaire)

Poughkeepsie Journal ^ | 05/23/04 | David A. Soyka

[Phantom Lord]

Found this on today's "Best of the Web"

Forget Iraq; find a way to ease gas price crunch

It just doesn't seem fair. First we have a cold winter and high heating oil prices. Now, with summer coming on, gas prices are going through the ceiling.

I was planning on driving across country this summer. Now what? Instead of taking over Iraq, why didn't our leaders take over a country that had a lot of oil instead?

David A. Soyka, Poughkeepsie

[Phantom Lord]

I guess we should have fought a war for oil!

[No Blue States]

Nevermind that people are trying to kill him, he needs cheap gas to take a cruise.

Priorities.

[Normal4me]

I say we attack Alaska...

[FlipWilson]

So in other words, it is fine if terrorists states exist that support terrorist who are trying to kill us,. . and are killing us so long as: 1) they aren't killing me or my family; 2) I can advance the cause of global socialism; and 3) my comfort is preserved.

[Ursus arctos horribilis]

"So in other words, it is fine if terrorists states exist that support terrorist who are trying to kill us,. . and are killing us so long as: 1) they aren't killing me or my family; 2) I can advance the cause of global socialism; and 3) my comfort is preserved."

So you know my old liberal hippie neighbor?

[Mr. Bird]

Do you think this guy is making a horrible attempt at sarcasm? Because a few modifications to his delivery would create quite a biting critique of the anti-war naysayers.

[Mr. Buzzcut]

why didn't our leaders take over a country that had a lot of oil instead?

According to my crackpot Left friends, that's why we are in Iraq!

[dufekin]

Been there, done that. Actually didn't fire a shot to buy the state in 1867. But thousands of Americans died to recapture the Aleutians from Japanese invaders during 1941-1943.

Then Alaska became a state in 1959. But Congress passed a law banning oil extraction from the oil-rich state. Actually I think that it was Senator Kerry who voted for it--and refuses now to lift the ban. So we can't get our gasoline.

[FlipWilson]

Yep, and I also know that your old hippie neighbor would be the first to scream "why wasn't more done to protect us!!!" when he is directly affected.

"Do something to protect us Mr. President. . .just don't do anything different than what was being done before we were attacked."

[Normal4me]

Um...I was kinda joking by saying we attack one of our own states.

"Then Alaska became a state in 1959. But Congress passed a law banning oil extraction from the oil-rich state. Actually I think that it was Senator Kerry who voted for it--and refuses now to lift the ban. So we can't get our gasoline."

You do know that we get 20% of our domestic oil from Alaska right?

[proxy_user]

Horrible? This is quite good the way it is. What would you change?