Posted on 06/01/2004 4:17:55 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
Peter Deutsch is not funny.
The congressman representing Broward and Miami-Dade counties takes himself -- and his campaign for the U.S. Senate -- very seriously.
Which makes his choice of press secretary interesting.
Roy Teicher is funny. At 19, he was the youngest writer hired by The Tonight Show. He also worked on Newhart, Mork & Mindy and lots of other silly sitcoms and screenplays like The Flintstones.
He just might be the perfect person to try to mellow Deutsch's brash public image into something more appealing.
Deutsch rips his Democratic rivals at candidate forums. He is testy with reporters. His combative demeanor, both supporters and critics say, could get in the way of his messages about education, healthcare and the environment.
''I hope I can make it a little bit easier for people to see the side of Peter that is relaxed, amusing, comfortable and self-effacing,'' Teicher said, using adjectives that might perplex Deutsch's bruised opponents. ``If, on the way to an event, I can keep him relaxed and joke around a bit, then that's good, too.''
Deutsch and Teicher met at the well-regarded Horace Mann prep school in New York. When Deutsch went to Swarthmore College with a backpack, Teicher went to Hollywood with a William Morris agent.
Teicher dwells more on the disappointments than the successes. What he remembers most about The Tonight Show was the competition between writers to get Johnny to use their jokes. He refers to his stint with Mork & Mindy, the show that made Robin Williams a star, ''as the worst season, the one with Jonathan Winters.'' He tells the story of getting pushed out of Mad About You after helping Paul Reiser develop the show.
HAD IT ALL
But the trappings of success were all there. He got the seven-figure development deals, the BMWs and the 4,500-square-foot house overlooking Los Angeles and the San Fernando Valley.
After 16 years, it wasn't enough. He felt unsatisfied. He thought he might try journalism, landing a job writing a humor column for The Los Angeles Times.
Still not enough. He yearned to be a real reporter who got his hands dirty covering local news and, as naive and goofy as it might sound, tried to make a difference in the world.
So at 37 years old, he packed up his wife and two kids and dog and headed for The Marysville-Yuba City Appeal-Democrat. The pay was $25 a week.
He was thrilled.
''This was a guy who came into his own after he left Hollywood, after the deals and the big money were gone, and he discovered his passion and really his calling,'' said Bruce Ferber, a longtime friend and the former executive producer of Home Improvement. ``It was the most amazing transformation I've ever seen in a person.''
Teicher went on to The Kansas City Kansan, this time making $17,500 a year. The New York University dropout was assigned to cover education.
''There could not be anyone less qualified,'' he said. ``I thought a superintendent was someone who fixed the pipes in the apartment building.''
He fell in love with journalism. ''It wasn't make believe,'' he said. The satisfaction he got from writing about neglected schools 'meant more than going to a run-through of a television show and saying, `That's my line in the second scene.' ''
Teicher, 46, looks more like a rumpled newspaperman than a Hollywood hotshot. His wavy brown hair is tinged with gray and nearly reaches his collar. He sports a beard that could use a trim and an easy smile. He gestures and stammers and talks fast.
''Roy Teicher is one of the five most fascinating people I've met in my life, and I've been in journalism for 35 years,'' said Charlie Waters, his former editor at The Los Angeles Times. ``Press secretaries for political candidates come out of a cookie cutter for the most part. He's completely different. He's honest and candid. He makes me laugh.''
Teicher's last newspaper job was as editor and general manager of The Mount Vernon Democrat in Indiana. Stories about a basketball coach promoting his Christian youth ministry on campus drew a backlash in the tight-knit community. Subscribers balked, and Teicher was fired.
He was sitting in a Waffle House in Ohio after an interview at The Sandusky Register when he got the call from Deutsch. They hadn't spoken in at least 10 years. Deutsch asked him to interview for the press secretary job.
'It was certainly a case of, `Why not?' '' Teicher said. ``It wasn't as much of a stretch as being an education reporter.''
He did have some experience, having crafted humorous speeches for President Bill Clinton to use at events like the White House Correspondents Dinner.
OFF TO GOOD START
After a couple of weeks on the job, he and Deutsch say so far, so good. When Deutsch berates a reporter on the phone, Teicher doesn't get in the way, but jokes about it with the miffed reporter later.
''Roy could only help brighten the image of any candidate,'' said Alan Mattingly, a newspaper executive who helped recruit Teicher to Indiana. ``He's very smart and funny and charming. There's not a whole lot of spin that you have to do if he is the front man.''
In another interview with Deutsch at the campaign office in Hollywood, the congressman relishes talking about his high school buddy. The typically hard-charging candidate is laughing.
''If nothing else, we'll have better jokes than anyone else,'' Deutsch said.
Understatement of the year. Anyway you sort of have to be from Florida to APPRECIATE just how FUNNY this story is. Anybody remember Lonesome Rhodes in Face In The Crowd trying to lighten up the image of a dour senator running for President (the senator couldn't even smile)? Well, Roy Teicher's task is even tougher trying to change Peter Douche. Actually I think Dr. Buddy Rydell (Anger Management) is more suited to the task.
BADA-BING!
The article didn't mention that Teicher was once hired by Charles Manson to lighten up his image but his current job is much more of a challenge.
BADA-BOOM!
He just might be the perfect person to try to mellow Deutsch's brash public image into something more appealing.
A voter recently screamed at Douche that he had a hideous personality and was a dirtbag and Douche replied, "I'll try to change, mother."
BADA-BING!
Deutsch rips his Democratic rivals at candidate forums. He is testy with reporters. His combative demeanor, both supporters and critics say, could get in the way of his messages about education, healthcare and the environment.
And this is on the days that Douche is in a GOOD mood.
BADA-BOOM!
Q: Why did the Douche cross the road?
A: To stomp the chicken on the other side.
BADA-BING!
Q: How many Douches does it take to screw a lightbulb?
A: 500. One to screw it in and 499 to scream at him about what a lousy job he is doing.
BADA-BOOM!
''I hope I can make it a little bit easier for people to see the side of Peter that is relaxed, amusing, comfortable and self-effacing,'' Teicher said, using adjectives that might perplex Deutsch's bruised opponents. ``
This is the FUNNIEST jokeline that Teicher has ever written!
''If nothing else, we'll have better jokes than anyone else,'' Deutsch said.
"Hey, Alex Pinellas! Remember all those times I called you a lousy crook with no moral character and a lowdown scumbag for causing Gore to lose in 2000?.....JUST KIDDING!"
Please add your own Peter Douche jokes on this thread and I will forward them to Roy Teicher. He needs LOTS of help.
PJ- You're a saint, helping out a guy like that. I hope he appreciates you. Maybe the cigar smoking beaver can get involved.
FYI
I am planning on employing that cigar smoking beaver in a VERY interesting task in a few months. BTW, on that topic, does anybody out there know how to make stuffed toy animals? I would love to do that with Li'l Beaver!
Why would Monica Lewinsky want to have anything to do with this?
any recent polling data?
Here is the latest poll data: If Douche wins the primary, the NEXT U.S. Senator from Florida will be a Republican. Douche is so repulsive that even Democrats can't stand him. He has been booed at Democrat forums around the state. I just hope the joke writer can sugar-coat the mud enough so Douche can fake out enough Democrat voters to win the primary election.
• Roy Teicher on Johnny Carson: `It's a lot of what you hear about him. Offstage, he's intensely private, very cerebral and, I always thought, vaguely unhappy. He would come to life when the [camera's] red light went up.'
• On Bob Newhart: `As different as Carson was off and on, he was as similar. He comes off on television as a droll accountant, and that's what he's like when you're eating lunch with him.'
• On Robin Williams: `You're always reading article after article about people who go to [Mork & Mindy] and are mesmerized by how fast this guy's mind works. Of course, these were lines that had been written for him earlier in the week.'
Ooh! I like this last tidbit about Robin Williams. Hee! Hee! I guess it looks like Williams is about as spontaneous as his writers can make him. Anyway, I suppose Teicher has pretty much cut his ties to comedy writing for celebs since writers don't normally reveal this stuff unless they know they are out of the business. Of course, someone like me, who did some comedy writing in La-La Land and is on much higher moral plain than Teicher, would NEVER reveal the names of any comedian he wrote for. (argus hamilton argus hamilton argus argus hamilton argus hamilton argus hamilton)
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